I would still ask for a small uptick. "I would really like to take it, but can you see your way to top plus 1 or 2k?" They may come back with "this is the best we can do", and I would decide ahead of time if you're willing to live with it.

My current job is the first one where I made myself counter-offer, even though I was desperate to get out of my job at the time. I did it because I was tired of kicking myself all the time for never having done it before. And it makes a huge difference.

They offered X + 5k bonus potential. I came back and said I would really be more comfortable with (X + 5k) + 5k bonus potential. They came back to me with (X + 5k) + 2k bonus potential and I snapped it up.

The thing to remember is that anything you get up front just compounds. So I didn't just get an extra 5K that year, I've gotten that every year since. And percentage based increases are starting from 5K higher than they would otherwise.

The fact that women are, generally speaking, not encouraged/socialized/confident doing this kind of thing is a big reason for the persistance of the pay gap.

smonster, is the cost of living significantly lower in Nola? I had to take a 6K paycut when I came here, and it sucked, but the cheapness of child care made it less sucky. (Well, that and the fact that mr. flea had a JOB after 6 years of grad school.)

Maybe, Smonster, you could go along the lines of "if you can guarantee me the big easy I can live without the cash"

but, you know, in nice words

Oh, and smonster..

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA >[link]

My current job is the first one where I made myself counter-offer, even though I was desperate to get out of my job at the time. I did it because I was tired of kicking myself all the time for never having done it before. And it makes a huge difference.

This! My current job I actually didn't, and should've. But the job before this, I did...which helped me have a higher salary THIS job, because even though I was only at the last job for four months, they looked at that salary, and said "so you were making around (my actual salary+$10K)? I'm afraid we can only offer (actual salary+$5K)..."

I ordered a filing cabinet from West Elm. I was getting sick of keeping my files in crates, and I figure, if I'm going to buy a real filing cabinet, I might as well get a nice-looking one, and West Elm had one that matches my desk. I didn't notice when I ordered it that that item has in-home delivery, but once I did notice, I figured that was cool -- they'll bring it, assemble it, and take away all the packaging. I've been getting sick of assembling things.

Anyway, it turns out that, for my part of Pennsylvania, they only deliver on every other Tuesday, and only between 8 and 5. They call the Saturday before to give a two-hour window when they'll deliver. They called this Saturday to tell me that they'd be delivering it tomorrow, but it was during a time when I couldn't be home, because I was teaching. So I called to reschedule, and they could reschedule me for two weeks from tomorrow, and they could put down that I'd prefer a particular time slot (the only one when I'm not teaching), but they can't guarantee that, and if they can't give me that time zone two weeks from tomorrow, then I'll have to wait another two weeks.

How do they expect to deliver to anyone who has a full-time job?

I am officially in love with my new shower curtain . It is hookless ( no more curtain rings ) and is transparent at the top third -- so more light in my tiny bathroom

I am officially in love with my new shower curtain . It is hookless ( no more curtain rings ) and is transparent at the top third -- so more light in my tiny bathroom

...how does that work, hookless???

I have been thinking that much as I love my very pretty shower curtain, I may need to go get a clear one (or, partly clear), because there is no light in my shower (the light is outside, and so is the window). And that's starting to bug.

smonster, is the cost of living significantly lower in Nola?

I think it's about the same, although restaurants are generally more expensive and verra tempting. Definitely not cheaper. Unless I want to live in one of my much-beloved but super sketch neighborhoods. I could buy a gutted house for $10K!

So, how would I counter offer? "I'm currently making top + $5K, and I'd really love to take this job - could you manage top + $1K?"

That sounds right on to me, smonster.

and is transparent at the top third -- so more light in my tiny bathroom

I just get the clear vinyl curtain liner and use that. With a small bathroom not having something that blocks light or space is great.