Happy belated birthday to Parkins, and happy birthday to erika!
Much ~ma to Hil, and to Drew, of course. I cannot believe you're back in the hospital already. I hope you'll be out of there soon and healthy.
WRT faith: I did fast most of this day, in the end. Something that I read yesterday sparked a glimpse in me, and I decided it was worth the effort, senseless as I may reckon it is. And it was very hard to keep that specific fast - normally I'm fine until the last hours of every fast, but this was a struggle from the very beginning. I didn't spent much time reading and thinking, but editing videos to my lecture in two weeks and watching TV on my computer, to forget the hunger and that I was only left now with a tiny hope/faith that my fast means something. I fasted because I wanted to believe, not because I believed.
I didn't believe for a very long time now in the afterlife (not because I'm denying it - I can know nothing of it - but because I don't see it as a factor in my everyday decisions). But I did believe in something more that made sense, in the end of the day, from that sometimes senseless life. I also think I'm a better person with that kind of faith. Maybe I'm rush to believe it's due to lack of faith, but I don't like how angry I got these past few months and how I'm dealing with it. Believing in something greater than myself helps me to pull through these moments, and make them less frequent.
I don't mind having a faith of my own or anything like it. I also mostly read God as metaphor. But I want a faith to begin with. Without one, I find it much harder to make sense out of life. Prayer and faith are the last things that anyone has. I'd like to have them both in my arsenal of choices. It makes things better. It makes me feel less alone.
HOLY FLYING SPAGETTI MONSTER OF REALITY
Oh erin, I'm sorry about the fuckwits at your job, but THIS made my day. We need t-shirts with this screened on it.
HOLY FLYING SPAGETTI MONSTER OF REALITY
I'll take one of those t-shirts.
might want to correct the spelling before printing ;)
Pix, vibing for shortest-possible-stayness for the two of you. At least there's depressed bison to keep you company?
Jars, heh. Hopefully we will be out of this ER room (which, for those not on my facebook, is a repurposed pedes room with really sad looking animals painted on the walls) and in a real room in a few hours.
Health~ma continued your way, PixDesigns.
And Shir, I don`t know if it`s any help to you, but I am a person who does believe, deeply, and I spend a lot of my time angry. I don`t find it negates my faith. I realize this comes out of the Christian not Jewish tradtition, but it says "in your anger do not sin," and while there`s lots of stuff in our shared tradtitions about being "slow to anger, abounding in love," to me it seems to recognize the condition of anger as part of the human condition, something to recognize and address, but not something to reject entirely. This is an unjust world, and there is a lot to be angry about. I figure God can take it; that it`s nothing he hasn`t seen before.
Which is not to say that there`s not very unhealthy levels of anger we can reach, and that I flirt/struggle with constantly. But that I don`t think faith and anger are necessarily diametrically opposed.
Whew. That`s a lot more talking about religion than I usually permit myself online; hope you guys are all okay with me flapping my gums.
Barb, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be insensitive.
Short stay-ma for Drew.
Oh amyth, I'm so sorry. Much love and coping-ma to you and your family.
