My brain is occasionally a strange place.

I think it's bad to only use certain terms around certain people because then it makes the okayness of the terms about the other people, and not about the term. It implies I'm only doing it because so and so might get pissed, and makes me think of people hiding casual racism around me but being more racist elsewhere. Or worse, of thinking I'm down with their use of racist terms! (its happened). So, I don't want to be THAT person, even if I don't think it's quite the same thing. I think its just a wishy washy way to be, and thats not who I want to be. I don't classify it the same as, say, using swear words around some people, or something. I wouldn't use "Jew her down" around some and not others, why am I "sometimes" ok with wifebeater? Haven't parsed in my head.

I getcha. I disagree a little bit, but I am having a hard time getting it out there.

40 1st graders today for 8 HOURS. They ated my brain because they are crazy, crazy brain and ebergy sucking creatures.

I wouldn't use "Jew her down" around some and not others, why am I "sometimes" ok with wifebeater? Haven't parsed in my head.

Have applied beer. May have a thought.

I wonder if it's because it's not a term that is specifically targeted at a racial or ethnic group? When using insults that speak to class or socio-economic status, I think that as a society right now, we're more accepting of those terms than ones that are downright racist.

I think, though, that being able to use some terms with some people and not others, speaks more to a trust issue. Mauva and I had trust in each other: She knew that I wasn't a racist and I knew that she wasn't a racist, and so there were certain liberties we gave and took. Not that I would freely use a racist term in my conversations with her, because those are words that I just don't say (unless forced to in an poetry class. *shudder*). But a term like "gypped" gets tricky to me because of my own, personal connotations and the definition I was raised with. And quite honestly, I had no idea the root of word or even the correct spelling until about 5 years ago when I learned it here. Since then, I try not to use it, but I don't judge anyone who does use it.

I cringe at that name for the shirt and I never use it. I don't joke about domestic violence and I don't see the term being used in casual conversation about clothing to be okay.

I'm also the one who will call people out who hope that rape happens to certain criminals going to prison.

forced to in a poetry class.

seriously? You couldn't opt out of the assignment? I don't know if I'm OK with that.

Eh. I use forced in a loose sense. Shouldda scare quoted it. We were reading selections from a poetry anthology out loud in class, and I got passed the book to read the poem a few lines before the author used the N-word. I made the call to read it because I kind of felt trapped. I blushed SO HARD and just wanted to sink into a hole, but as some people from here pointed out, not my work so I have no right to edit it for my comfort. *shrug* It was a good lesson on the usage of charged words.

I grew up calling it a tank top and was a little shocked the first time I heard it referred to as a wife beater. (Probably sometime after I moved to Boston).

I didn't hear tramp stamp until "HIMYM" and I thought it was funny but also indicative of the sexism they often indulge on that show which I dislike. But I do think ass antlers is funny and fair game.

And I do think getting a tat down there is getting to be problematic the same way getting tribal tattoos on our bicep is problematic for guys.

Way back when getting a traditional tribal tat was unusual and beautiful and cool and then, over time, by association it became closely linked with jock/frat/douchebaggery. Context is everything, and the social context around that particular tatt is now kind of polluted.

I think the lower back tat is becoming problematic, in the same way I think the neck tat is a problem. It's kind of a "Woo Girl" (to reference HIMYM) thing to do now, just as getting a dolphin tattoo on your ankle, or a butterfly on your breast became a cliche. It's a cliched tat choice now. Cliches happen through cultural association and context and that's what's happened with those tats and those places.

Yeah, you can't pick your ink for anyone else -- for good reasons or bad. If its your own choice and reasons it'll still be lovely to you regardless of how society marches on.

just as getting a dolphin tattoo on your ankle, or a butterfly on your breast became a cliche.

laffs and laffs cause she effed that one up and got the dolphin on the boob and the butterfly onthe ankle.

Ah ... the 90's ...

in the same way I think the neck tat is a problem.

Whoa buddy my dad is gonna CUT you!!!

Because he's a badass with a neck tattoo, so he can do whatever he wants. Like a ninja.

(No, actually, I remain in a state of bogglement about the placement of his tattoo, but the man is 68 years old, survived 5 heart attacks and a quadruple bypass, and his younger brother recently died. I figure he's earned the right to get a tattoo wherever he wants.)

(And it's given my brother and I something to laugh about forEVER.)