When i was a kid i made my dad promise not to die until after i was married and had kids. I wonder if that is subliminaly holding me back wrt dating. I keep reminding my subconscious that it was not an either/or but an *and* clause, so i can get married (and have a single child) without worrying about non-causal patricide.

I remember in high school on grad night I think they were asking people where they thought they'd be in 10 years (or mabye it was 20).

I remember my answers - married, kids, Master's degree and working toward Phd. Which hasn't happened and a lot of other stuff did happen. I'll see what the future holds. I turned 19 right after I graduated and thinking of being nearly 29 seemed so OLD.

I got a new (to me) laptop today! YAY Good news!

My old laptop ate some important emails and docs! FUCK THE WORLD.

GodDAMMIT.

And yeah, I had two excellent tech-geek friends try to recover them, and no love. They're gone.

I have used All The Bad Words.

I dunnu, there are quite a few from just the 7 words you can't say on tv that you haven't used yet:

The original seven words are:
Shit
Piss
Fuck
Cunt
Cocksucker
Motherfucker
Tits

Well, hmm.

I think what I shouted was along the lines of "Fuck! Goddammit, you cocksucking son of a bitching piece of shit! You went tits-up THIS WEEK? Piss on you, you piece of camel shit! Chingada tu madre! Pendejo! Merde! FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

Last night I went into the ER for what turned out to be a false alarm but which at the time I wasn't sure wasn't my first heart attack (I bet they don't make a charm for My First Heart Attack, like they do for First Kiss etc.). With cardiac things they practically have to get an IV from the big veins in the elbow. Turns out the veins in my elbow? Not so big. They had to get their super-expert phlebotemist in to do the tap. Hubby doesn't like me to swear, so I managed to express the word "fuck" over three seconds, with a couple of breaths between "fuh" and "ck". But I didn't kick anyone this time.

So nothing, apparently, just a case of feeling weird etc. As she's taking my vitals before releasing me, the nurse starts up the blood pressure cuff and says, "So, on a scale of one to ten, how's your pain?" I manage to laugh instead of swear and said, "You've got a blood pressure cuff on me and you're asking about pain? With the IV, too?" "OK," she said, "aside from what we've done to you, how is the pain?"

It disturbs me a little - very little - that of all the many things I memorized as a teenager, Carlin's 7 Words You Can't Say on Television is one of the few things that remains in instant read-access in my memory. When I am 89, I will have forgotten the names of all my lovers, but I will remember those words. And I will use them. Daily. Because I'll be 89.

Yikes, Connie, I'm so glad it was nothing! My dad's been to the ER for a maybe- heart attack and it was indigestion.

Then he went another time and it WAS a baby heart attack.

So go. Always. Be safe. You are precious to us.

Erin, email received and backflung, bebe.

So go. Always. Be safe. You are precious to us.

Yes! Always go. I am a person who is most likely alive because I got convinced to go to the ER for a "probably nothing".