I've found other people to give me some of the parental validation I'd been wanting - my dance teacher, my aunt, my friends, Buffistas!

smonster beat me to it, P-C. You CAN have more,just not from them.

And, you have to be the one to take the first step away. Though, on so many levels, you have already done this.

It seems unfair that the aggressors don't do the right thing, but they aren't likely to, unless and until you can let them go completely. The bonus then is that all good things end up being gravy, rather than a consolation, or salve over an old wound.

My parents, may they all rest in some tepid form of peace, taught me to say, "I want to feel loved" without adding "by them."

That one tiny adjustment made a world of difference in my life, I tell you true.

We must bear up against them, and make the best of mankind as they are, since cannot have them as we wish.

Ginger, what a perfect find.

Ah, sj, that sucks. Sounds like talking to your other PT is a good idea. Do you have a written list from your doctor of things you should be able to achieve? Are there exercises you can't physically do by yourself, or are you having trouble with motivation?

Just called the Water Board - there's a tampering fee that will have to be paid before my water can get turned back on. I think it's $300. I do not intend to pay it. I am not looking forward to calling my landlord. Uggh.

Awesome, don't delete, I haven't watched it yet.

Of course not!

We have the new Leverage too

Watching it right now.

Are the boys treating you OK?

Are there exercises you can't physically do by yourself, or are you having trouble with motivation?

There are exercises I can't do by myself, machines I can't get on and off of without help at the gym, and other exercises that I can't do (like the exercise ball) that I'm unable to do without someone there to catch me if I fall. I could in theory hire a personal trainer to help me, but I can't afford that. The PT is 100% covered by my insurance and they are giving the PT people no problem about continuing to cover me. It sounds like it is more of an internal bureaucracy problem, where they can't justify continuing to see me after they have shown me all the exercises. I feel like I am being treated like an able bodied person with an injury that only needed limited help rather than a person with a permanent disability that may always need at least a little bit of help.

P-C, I meant to say I'm sorry that you are continuing to have problems with your mother. If you can block all of your family on facebook from seeing posts about your family, that would probably be for the best.

Yeah, I've been thinking of setting up a filter that filters out all my family except my brother.

Damn, sj. That's not right. Will your doctor go to bat for you, if the other PT won't?

Are the boys treating you OK?

They pretty much ignore me. Marley's on your hat.

Okay, I just talked to my landlord. Turns out he didn't realize that the water was off - there's a bit of a language/accent barrier. So he had already contacted a plumber and is going to call him again to see when he can get there. And he said he'd do whatever necessary to get the water back on, which I'm taking to mean that he will pay the fine. That makes me feel a little better about my landlord, actually. Here's hoping it's back on before my next guest gets here, on Monday!

Smonster, I am pretty sure it's illegal to have a tenant living without water this long. I am glad you have Nora and Tom, but still. What if you didn't? It's untenable.

Thank goodness smonster! Yay for imminent water and responsible landlord.

Wow. You know that wall that you hear so much about hitting?

I've just found it.

SMACK!

Having awakened at 2, getting up to work and pretty much running since then, I've suddenly gone all puddin' head...to the degree that I'm having a really hard time typing.

It's only 5:30! I can't go to bed, can I? But, I cannot brane.

Crap. What am I going to do?

Damn, sj. That's not right. Will your doctor go to bat for you, if the other PT won't?

I really don't know. She has only been my PCP since I have been married. I like her, she listens and she is efficient, but I don't know if she will be willing to go to bat for me on this. Lea also suggested talking to the head of the PT department if I get nowhere with the assistant PT, since that is who my lead PT is blaming for this.

And, getting back to your previous question, the other thing I don't feel like I can do on my own in periodically re-evaluate how I am doing, what I still need to work on etc.

I'm starting to feel really depressed about all this. Why does everything always have to feel like one step forward and two steps back?