So niece E. said to the fellow counselor, "If I ever do that -- if I ever seem to be pausing awkwardly when you mention your girlfriend -- it is NOT because of your sexuality; it's because I'm just an awkward person!"

Awww.

she hates that family members will lapse into an awkward pause if she mentions her girlfriend.

Yeah, my folks still do that when I mention any gay pairing. ::sigh::

Yeah, my folks still do that when I mention any gay pairing. ::sigh::

I'm not sure if I can convey how hysterically funny this was, but I'll try...

Friends of my sister, Mary & Michelle, had a wedding this spring. Among the guests was one of their dear friend's entire family, including her 92 year old grandmother. Sometimes she gets a little confused.

She was pretty tuckered out by the time the ceremony was over so after a bite to eat she was dropped off at the home of a nearby relative. They were either going to pick her up late that night or the next morning. After a while she got anxious... why hadn't she been picked up yet? What's wrong? Who's in the hospital? (her son had been ill) What aren't they telling her?

So her grand daughter went by the house. And then her grand son. Each told her that everything was fine, nobody was hurt, the wedding was just running late. Finally with great indignation she announced, "I KNOW you are lying to me! The wedding ended when Michelle kissed that Filipino boy!"

Now, granted, the one bride was in a suit... but she's clearly not a boy. But when you're 92 and tired and runnin' a bit paranoid your brain fills in the gaps with what it can. When her family picked her up her son went over it for her, [Please imagine thick Bronx accents for the following exchange]

"Ma, Michelle married Mary. You know Mary. They were at the baby's party last week. That was the one in the suit Michelle kissed."

"A girl can't marry a girl."

"Sure she can."

"Well WHY would a girl marry a girl?"

"... because they love each other very much. They want to spend their lives together."

"Well they're both such nice girls. They deserve to be happy."

"Right. They deserve to be happy."

Which is a sweet story and a nice ending. But she's 92 and gets a little confused. Sometimes things need to be explained again. And again. And again.

So the other day the grand daughter is on the phone with her mother and in the background hears her father shouting (in his thick Bronx accent and clearly for the thousandth time) "Because they LOVE each other and they deserve to be HAPPY."

Which has kindof become our shorthand for the whole "debate". It's simple enough. I'm sorry if you're confused and you don't even have being 92 to blame it on -- "Because they LOVE each other and they deserve to be HAPPY."

(at the top of your lungs. in a thick Bronx accent.)

I hope you're feeling better now, Windsparrow.

Definitely improved. I'm pissed off at Walgreens right now, and as much as I'm pissed off at them, I'm all kinds of grateful for my coworker, S. Doc faxed the script to them, I drove over just before noon. They said 25-30 minute wait, so I said I would come back on my way to work. I get back there at 1:55 - and they said it wasn't done yet, ten more minutes. When I protested that two hours previously they'd told me 25 minutes, they said, we only have one pharmacist so things take longer, can't you just wait ten minutes? No, I have to be at work in three, and if 25 minutes equals two hours, how many hours does 10 really mean? So I was frazzled after that, and when S. asked how I was doing, I told him. Later on, he had an errand to run with one of the folks that live at that house, so offered to swing by Walgreens and pick up the new eye drops. He is my hero, today.

Erin, I hope your collar bone is less hurty soon.

erika, psoriasis can be miserable. That's just all there is to it. If it is that, may they swiftly get it under control.

I want a bumper sticker that says "Because they love each other and they deserve to be happy!"

Laga, I'd buy one of those!

My new car has the Oaktown resident requisite "Oaklandish" bumper sticker AND my favorite: the typical Darwin/Jesus fish with "n chips" on the inside. I got it in London and waited years to put it on. I asked my two Christian colleagues if it hurt their feelings (as I am not worried about being offensive generally, but I don't want to hurt my friends) and they both proclaimed it "funny". So.

I tried to make a bumper sticker but I think I broke Zazzle.

"Right. They deserve to be happy."

Cute story, despite the having to repeat yourselves often! Did I mention the story about my four-year-old niece Flo at our wedding? This little girl has grown up knowing that "Auntie Nay and Auntie Sharon" are a pair in the same way that most everyone else in her life is. When she and my sister were sitting in the front at our wedding, and The Girl and I were about to start, Flo looks at us for a minute, looks at my sister for a minute, and then asks "Who's going to be the daddy?"

Teppy, much ~ma for your not-in-laws. I can completely empathise. Mine are improving, but having to keep quiet through incredibly offensive conversations or diatribes is really stressful. I hope you don't have to vacation with them again anytime soon!

There is a weird dilemma sometimes with a genderqueer partner. I love having a boyfriend who is also literally my girlfriend. But sometimes I want just the boyfriend. (And sometimes I want just the girlfriend.) And most times it doesn't matter, because he just fills the slot in my life labeled "Partner in Crime, Gender Irrelevant."

This, too, I can personally identify with. Let's just say that I was delighted to persuade The Girl *into* a pretty dress for our wedding. But I hope you get the pretty dress if you ever (want to) get married!

bonny, Prozac is only one of many SSRIs, and there are other types of antidepressants too. Some SSRIs *really* disagree with me and cause anxiety and hypomania. I agree that your friend should give it some time to work, but she could also talk to her doctor about alternatives if Prozac's not agreeing with her.

{{WindSparrow}}

erika, I'm glad your brother's feeling a bit better.

I would enjoy having Obama as a friend but I'd be annoyed because he'd never have any time to spend with me.

You all have the weirdest thoughts.

You all have the weirdest thoughts

The definition of a Buffista.

Because they love each other and they deserve to be happy!

I want a bumper sticker, should anyone succeed in producing one.

Ditto on the bumper sticker; that's a great story, Trudy!

Now I want a SMJ to play a GQ character in a movie SIMPLY so he cant say "Gender QUEER mother FUCKER!" in that awesome uptone "You are as dumb as a motherfucking ROCK!" voice.

Guys, I iced the shoulder from 3 to about 8, and was able t go out for yummy Indian and to the show -- Bill Callagan (sp?) if anyone is familiar. It was a good show; he has a compelling voice that quite reminded me of Mark Sandman from Morphine... although it looked like Urban Outfitters had vomited onto the entire bar population.

The opening act was a dreadfully hip singer/songwriter named Neil Morgan who READ FROM HIS DIARY during the show, I shit you not!

My eyes went rolllllling across the floor, and I promptly followed them out the door to the smoking porch for the rest of his set.