We had 13 years of my FiL asking us what was wrong with us and why we wouldn't get married EVERY TIME WE SAW HIM. I learned to just smile. If he says something like that again, i d suggest enthusiastic agreement. ""You kids would have to go to class because you are sinners." "Thanks for the advice! It is SO thoughtful of you to be thinking about us this way!" I find agreement often takes the wind out of the sails of naggers.

As to politics. My BiL and his parents used to drive me nuts. I had to leave Thanksgiving dinner once in the middle of the meal. Jason finally cured me of that. He said, you and your family are proud of being open and you are all tolerant of everyone on Earth---except conservatives, and with them, frankly, you act like any other bigot. That was a shocker. He said,"Jim is not going to change and you know he isn't, so why do you waste time being furious about what he thinks? You aren't here on Earth to educate him. He's a blowhard, so why can't you ignore him, the way you do when anyone is tedious, like when my mom tells endless stories about people we don't know?" That really helped me.

Damn, Tep.

Why Vacationing With Family Can Suck

I was like, uh, the family part?

Yikes, Teppy. That sucks. That's what I meant the other day when I said in-laws can be difficult. I wasn't trying to say anything bad about my own, who are mostly wonderful. However, when in-laws do something like that, you can't just tell them they are being jerks.

ETA: Although I think you can say, that you have no plans to get married at this time, in a nice way.

If he says something like that again, i d suggest enthusiastic agreement. ""You kids would have to go to class because you are sinners." "Thanks for the advice! It is SO thoughtful of you to be thinking about us this way!" I find agreement often takes the wind out of the sails of naggers.

If I said anything like that, he would call the priest right now, from vacation, and sign us up. He's friends with the priest -- went to high school with him, in fact -- and has breakfast with him once a month and does in fact talk about the fact that his son and his son's "friend" (the only term I have ever heard him use to refer to me, EVER) live in the neighborhood and would be great assets to the parish.

Enthusiastic agreement would lead to me sitting in a parish hall basement for classes once a week.

you and your family are proud of being open and you are all tolerant of everyone on Earth---except conservatives, and with them, frankly, you act like any other bigot.

That's fair, and I try to not be a dick *just* because someone is a conservative. But sentences directed to me about "Your friend Obama, the Muslim," kind of make me have rage blackouts. I'm willing to be called intolerant for not tolerating that kind of crap.

Aw, Tep. Dude. Um, there is A LOT that Tim's family doesn't seem to know about him, huh? Well, both of y'all, really, but...it's comical to me on the outside. Except for the part where y'all are insulted. ION, I'm sick of being the J. Family stepchild yet again. Especially because I'm not. I get that at 37, and not that successful(although I most note, a college graduate who's not on the pipe or the pole) some of the shine has worn off my first-born status, and intellectually? I get that they can have a relationship with my brother that doesn't have to include me, but there is part of me that's all "Seriously?" Bro is feeling a little better, though.

I wish I had some good advice Steph but I don't.

I had to deal with one branch of my family being ultra ultra Boycott Disney Southern Baptists, Left Behind loving and not so subtley racist. Fox News would blare practically 24/7 at the beach -- you could even hear it from our poorly insulated mobile home and a few times I feel asleep to it.

I took A LOT of walks.

But i never had to deal with direct c omments or people pushing me to get married.

That's fair, and I try to not be a dick *just* because someone is a conservative. But sentences directed to me about "Your friend Obama, the Muslim," kind of make me have rage blackouts. I'm willing to be called intolerant for not tolerating that kind of crap.

I feel for you. He sounds like my cousin Bobby, whom I will happily never see again. My sis and I had to deal with him at my mom's funeral and the aftermath. He's not just a conservative, he's an asshole. I'm not intolerant of such people because they're conservative - I know thoughtful conservatives with whom I can respectfully and politely disagree - but because they're being dicks. And/or stupid. There's no way I could stop myself from at least saying, "Our President Obama is not a Muslim and even if he were it wouldn't matter". Sometime during Bush's administration, I stopped being able to extend polite tolerance to people who feel there's no need to extend polite tolerance to me.

Yeah, my BiL put their house on the market because, as he was happy to explain to anyone who would listen, Obama the socialist was going to bring the economy to halt and he wanted to put the money into gold to survive the crash and the riots. Luckily, the real estate market was so bad, they didn't get any bids.

It IS damn hard not to ask him just to shutupshutupshutup when he gets going onthis stuff.

I don't see any reason why bigotry has to be tolerated, honestly. There are lots of negative things I don't condone. That's just one of them.

I don't see any reason why bigotry has to be tolerated, honestly.

Hundred years, all new people?