Speaking of the evolution of dogs. I had one of the most challenging doggy lama appointments ever today.

A Bloodhound puppy.

Oy. Especially bad because 6 months ago, I begged the family to leave the puppy with the litter as long as possible...they brought her home at 6 weeks. She is now biting their child and strangers. I begged them to crate train her, especially at night. Nope. Behavior problems like whoa.

She is sweet and adorable and HUGE.

And she will never be obedient. Ever. She can't be. Her breed structure won't allow it. She should be on a farm, sleeping outside with a bunch of her kin, trained to track and given the opportunity to live her life nose-down.

I see 10 years of struggle in their future.

Fortunately, they get it. They've done enough after-the-fact research to know the challenges. But they won't even consider re-homing her. On one level, I respect that entirely...and I will be there for them throughout, but it is going to be a slog.

Sigh.

It may be even funnier if you actually understand mapping.

I should clarify that I DON'T really understand mapping, so I was talking about myself, not Laga.

Yeah, bonny. He was pretty clear about liking to argue and not wanting people to take it personally. IOW, *very* small dose friend for me. I decided pretty quickly I didn't want to date him. And I had a visceral squick when he touched my arm casually. So, no.

brenda, for real, or in a "bit my sister" kind of way?

I'm making him sound awful. He's not. But he's also most certainly not for me.

Oh, bonny, I was going to ask how that went. Okay but not great, sounds like.

we should give old people to young people instead of pets

They did kind of do that to us in high school. We effective had to do charity work every year, and Help The Aged was a popular option, where you get a senior citizen to visit. I spent the whole time panicked we were going to open the door to her corpse, and shying away from cleaning up dubious substances in her flat. Also listening to her talk about coloured people, and marvelling at how they could get jobs nowadays.

Okay but not great, sounds like.

It really did go as well as could be expected. I went to breakfast with the mom so that we could talk quietly before engaging with the dad who doesn't want to hear it and the daughter who is super, SUPER smart but still young enough to not be tolerant of sitting quietly for a long time.

The mom showed me the bruises up and down her arms and talked about how bitey the pooch is. She LOVEs the dog, as is right. The dog really is adorable when she's not guarding her food, biting (she put her mouth around my arm several times. Can you say NUH and UH.) and pulling them down the street like a freight train.

I felt terrible having to give her the bad news. Plus, it's a bit of an affront to my ego that I really can't do all that much for them. I've saved dogs from the needle, and completely changed people's perspectives a lot of the time. This one, I can give them all the good tips and routines, but the problem is, the breed just. doesn't. care. If it isn't a smell or a meal, it's uninteresting!

Believe me, I looked at no less than 50 resources hoping that some outlier would give me useful alternatives to what nearly all breeders and trainers say, which is boiled down to a sarcastic, "Obedience? Good luck with that."

Which kind of pisses me off about this particular breeder who did not educate the family at all, even knowing that the dog would be living in an urban rowhouse in a neighborhood carpeted with other dogs, squirrels, cats and vermin.

*sigh* I am debating leaving the house. A friend is having a birthday event at a place I hate. I told him i'd come because I care. He replied that it was okay, because I'd see him tomorrow (his actual birthday) at a cookout one of our other friends is throwing. So, I could quite legitmately bail on tonight. But, I kind of want ot show my support by showing up. OTOH, there's a $12 cover.

True story, smonster.

Huh, I never knew that about bloodhounds, bonny.

I guess I conflate them with coon hounds -- all my neighbors growing up had coon hounds, but they were hunting dogs, kenneled at night, living in small packs and worth their weight in gold to our farmer neighbors.

A good coon hound, people saved up money for and they were serious, serious business -- not breeding-wise, per se, but as a matter of practicality and status.

Your hounds, your horse, your shotgun and your ability to drink beer were signifiers of your manliness. And of course, we were City Folk (from the booming metropolis of St. Joe, MO) and therefore pansified.

My dad had to break up a dogfight bewteen a Dobie and Rottie with his bare hands, kill, field dress and freeze a couple of deer and train an Appaloosa from a foal to gentle obedience with a hackamore to get any cred.

And some folks still thought he was a pussy for using a hackamore, being nice to my mom and reading so damn much.

You ever see Winter's Bone? Yeah, that was pretty much my hood for the first nine years.

Huh. Hadn't thought about that for a while.

Your dad sounds pretty badass to me!

Yeah, it turns out that Bloodhounds are in a class by themselves. Seriously.

I can't quite figure out why they are so different from other hunting breeds, given that the breed isn't some new fangled thang...but they really, truly are virtually untrainable.

Borzois, Bassets and Bulldogs are challenging. Bloodhounds are noses (and salivary glands) on legs. No more, no less. They are weirdly other-dog aggressive, which doesn't make sense.

The only other Bloodhounds I've met around here were a pair that got kicked out of the elite dog park for harming other dogs. Their people were crushed because you can't let them off leash in anything but an iron-clad fence and they can't get enough exercise on a leash.

Also, one breeder mentioned that their slobber (which is the one thing I can't abide) dries like diamonds. If you don't catch it right way, it's there forever. I would perish.

No bloodhounds. Check.

Erin, odd what relative standards people have. (massive obvious understatement)

brenda, you tease. You know I'm dying to hear the story now, right?