Timely convo, y'all. I just came to vent.

M's mom called D in a panic this morning, having had a convo where his teacher reported M being depressed and trying to hide it. Now, this was brought up a month or so back, and my thought and suggestion was that this seemed not implausible, since he's gone through a great deal of emotional, geographical and familial changes in the last year alone, not to mention the last 4 in toto, and M should go to therapy.

THEIR solution to this issue is that D and I should pack up our lives and move to PA. That if we don't go into a tailspin of panic OMG!! about this, then D, and I, care less about M.

Oh, and also she's been putting words in my mouth, and told D over his last trip to PA to see M (6 days!), when D said "You know, M can always move back -- we have excellent FREE public schools in our hood, and if you're saying the problem can be solved by M seeing me more," her reply was "Absolutely not," which I can completely understand, as M has a little bro and Mom and SD.

However, she then went on to say "Erin doesn't want him there" which I am flipping my shit over.

I have NEVER said this. I have admitted, to you all, to Dan, to my friends, that I am ok with being a PT stepmom in another state, but I have also told Dan that if M were to ever want to or need to live with us, I am completely down with that. Yes, it would be a major change, but I would be fine with it.

I am NOT, however, fine with, or going to, move to PA.

I am SO angry on so many levels. All 4 of us are supposed to Skype tonight (at 9 pm, fab) and they will know for certain tonight that the issue of us moving is a NON-ISSUE, and that it will not be brought up again, to M, to us, to anyone. It is MOOT.

And if she wants to talk about non-caring or absent father issues, she will get a crapload of REALITY FUCKING CHECK, because she's the fucking hypocrite who fucked around, was cheating under her husband's roof, dragged her son around 3 states in 4 years.

If M is depressed? You're the one he's with 95% of the time, due to YOUR decisions in life. I will take that blaming, pointing finger, and I will fucking choke you to death on your own behavior.

GRRRR, I HATES HER LIKE FIRE RIGHT NOW.

(Don't worry, I'm not planning on some big bitch-fight on Skype tonight, but I am done being nice about this bullshit "If you loved your son, you'd move to the East Coast" shit. The important thing is M gets what he needs and this bullshit hysteria and inability to see HER own myriad faults is preventing that. I am SO glad there will be time for me to cool down, because I am HOT right now.)

If M's not in therapy by the time he gets here in July, we will contact the mediator and have him evaluated by a child specialist here. I don't think there's anything major to worry about -- no self-harm, no Bx issues, no bullying, etc., but I think that there's no doubt that M. would benefit from an impartial ear to talk to.

Oh, Erin, what an absolute cock up. I HATES her, too, my precioussss. To be that completely unself-aware and unwilling to own your own shit is such a major hot button for me anyhow, but when it impacts the life of a child who's essentially powerless before the whims of a parent?

I'm sorry, you have a kid, you don't get to put yourself first all of the time. Nor should you be completely self-sacrificing, but there's got to be balance and that chick? She ain't gots it.

Erin, I am so sorry. You are a great wife and a great stepmom. Ignore anyone who says differently, and keep your attitude on for the rest.

So, had my Tino meeting. Tino claims that I was "grossly negligent" (and only a court can determine that, "which obviously we don't want to deal with")...never mind that that would mean I deliberately tried to hurt my laptop or that I could care less about consequences. He also claims that he thinks some faculty members don't care about their laptops because "you all got them for free" and that the only way to get faculty to care is to "put some skin on it" for them. He was quick to assure me that I am not one of "those people," but I was still "grossly negligent" in having a lit candle "anywhere near the laptop." Yeah. Tino also says that the law Java directed me towards is "only for wage deductions" (which may well be true, but I would be forever grateful if a Buffista lawyer type could confirm that for me), so a business does have the right to charge its employees for "negligent damage."

That said, he's willing to compromise and have me send a check for $300 to "take some responsibility" for my negligence. I took the deal, because really, what choice do I have? At least it's much better than $1100. He also plans to put a policy in writing for next year for faculty members, because "We expected it from kids, but we never thought that faculty would be so careless."

I was able to speak with authority about ND and my own small business and how we have dealt with these types of situations, and I just love that he tried to claim that this WHOLE SCHOOL is also a small business. Because, right. That's the same thing and me, ND, our one full time employee, and the part time people we bring in from time to time for bigger projects.

Anyway, it's resolved. Just a really bittersweet way to end the year.

Not that I'm actually done. 67 exams to grade and participation/skills comments to post.

She is...problematic at her worst. And I have been assured that these last 2 years have been relatively sane years.

I am so rarely an overreactor. I will come over here and vent, or to my friends, but I generally am pretty chill. I don't see the need to freak out about some of the stuff she does.

Everything is a drama. I hang with a pretty mellow, drama-free crowd of friends. On purpose. I like Buffistas because, despite occasional flare-ups, people are a civil, thoughtful crowd. And I understand that there are problems to be dealt with, but all the flailing, and bitchingn and emergency sessions of fucking Congress, emotional blackmail...ugh.

(Plus, and this is pure, selfish, shallow whine -- I got hit with this right when I walked through the door. I didn't even get to enjoy being DONE with school except on the drive home. AND I'm pissed at her about that, too.)

You, Pix, were gracious and fabulous. Tino was a schmuck.

I hope something itchy invades his underwear drawer. All summer.

Ugh, I just read that, Pix. I am less gracious than you or Barb.

Mood I'm in, you fly me to LA, and I'll punch him in the crunchy parts. What a supercilious ass.

Although I AM glad you didn't have to pay $1100.

I so wish I could afford to buy you a ticket, Erin, but I have to give that money to Tino. Fucker.

It just kills me that ND and I have eaten thousands of dollars of business loss between damage to equipment and work trucks and lost tools, yet never asked for a cent from those employees because they were doing a job for us in good faith. If someone truly was grossly negligent, then we might pursue it, but certainly not when it was a genuine accident (even if they were being stupid at the time). I can pretty much guarantee that our small business can afford it a whole hell of a lot less than my school. Seriously.

I hope something itchy invades his underwear drawer.

A pox upon his fruit of the loom!

I mentioned I'm friends with the head of IT at Poly, right Pix? He says their policy is that the teacher has to pay for the damaged laptop.

But:

in reality every time something like that's happened we've not enforced the policy. One of our faculty drove over his laptop with his car, another spilled "tea" which was clearly beer all over his.

Thanks, Raq. Also, HI!!! Missed you!