Progressive (who, for the record, have been amazing throughout this whole process; I'd recommend them to anyone)

oh, good. This has been our insurance company since we moved here.

I liked having a hardware store where they know my name.

You may well again, this is like the smallest town masquerading as a city ever.

Progressive (who, for the record, have been amazing throughout this whole process; I'd recommend them to anyone)

This is good to hear--I used to have them, and switched, but am contemplating going back because AllState has been a PITA (I haven't even had any claims!! And still!)

I need more damned spoons. I have just enough spoons to look like I have all the spoons I need, but I don't. I run out of spoons well before all the milk is gone. Why don't I have more spoons?

...Zen is that an actual spoon thing, or a disability-metaphor-spoons thing?

Cause if the former, I kept having that problem with forks. So I bought a dozen at Walmart for about $4. Now we run out of knives.

I am so fucking out of spoons. I actually looked at my flatware drawer that was also out of spoons and ugh. Need more spoons. And to run my dishwasher. But mostly the metaphorical spoons.

Spoons

Yeah, I run out of literal spoons a lot. I think because I use them to stir the coffee just the once, and then I leave it lying there. And then make another pot of coffee, and I have to get a fresh spoon for the sugar, which I then use to stir the coffee and then I leave it lying there.

Also, how is it that the cleaning is never actually done? I keep feeling like the house is right on the verge of being awesome and clean and done, but it never actually is. And tomorrow I leave (probably, more on that later) but our caravan buddy is sleeping over tonight, and we have a housesitter for the summer, so I need to wash linens in the morning. If I were just leaving for the summer, I'd be content with how the house is. But since someone's moving in, I want it to be habitable, but I just keep seeing more to do. But we leave at 7 in the morning. And it's habitable.

I need to chill.

I think because I use them to stir the coffee just the once

Somewhere, I am being laughed at. I know this.

Also, how is it that the cleaning is never actually done?

The world is cruel.

I use chopsticks to stir my coffee. I have a tall mug that barely fits a spoon, so I stir with some nice lacquered chopsticks that I got somewhere.

Warg. If I could punch insomnia in the face, I would.

The world is cruel.

Truly.

Ok. I am going to do the deeply satisfying thing of crossing off one task that was lingering several pages back in my autofocus notebook, thereby allowing me to make the "all pages are complete up until this point" circle around many X's of pages. And then I am going accept that a few things like cleaning the filter (on the furnace...she's not going to be using the furnace!) are not going to get done, and furthermore, don't need to be done.

And then I am going to take the laundry out that's in the dryer, and take a shower, and go to bed, and read Feast for Crows. I wrote down the stuff that needs to be finished in the morning. I'll be fine.

The big panicky thing is that all my girls are flipping out, right before I leave. There's a love triangle. There's a drunken mom. There's just all this stuff. So we were talking it over tonight and considered having me stay for the summer instead. It would save a ton of money on kennel fees. It would allow me to get a bunch of work done. And I could be there for my girls when they need me. But we would be separated. And he would have to carry a lot of work on his own unexpectedly. And we would have double living expenses. And I don't do very well with sudden changes to plans.

But if I thought I could be helpful, maybe it would be worth it. But I don't know. Maybe the answer will come to me in my sleep. Because otherwise I'm going.