I say "Too bad, so sad" to cousin. Unless you want to go the Cee Lo route.

Also (having re-read Nora's original post about the horrible cousin), since your grandmother gave you the punch bowl SIX YEARS AGO, and your cousin is bringing it up now? Tell her no, tell her your grandmother gave it to YOU, and that is the end of the matter.

And because I am frequently Not A Nice Person: I think you should get the hope chest, too.

(This is where I give thanks that I am an only child, and there's only one cousin I am in touch with.)

I'm a little ragey right now. First, my bro and I came up with a plan about how we were dealing with Memorial Day drama, everyone seemed on board. My brother is barbecuing at mom's, so he would drop the food off in the morning, then pick up my mother and we would meet at Arlington. This made sense because my brother was already going to be there, and I needed to get a parking pass at Arlington (he has a pass already). So, I would get the pass and meet them, and no one had to sit around and wait.

So, my mother calls today and asks for "a favor". She doesn't want to ride with my brother. I tell her that it doesn't make any sense, she counters with "I don't ask you to go out of your way very often" (@@ eleventy billion) So, I have to go EARLY to her place and deal with this shit.

Then, I go to pick up my BCP prescription, which was called in wrong (and has resulted in cramping and spotting for the past week) only to find that they have called it in wrong AGAIN. After I fucking read off the motherfucking package!!! And they have the right meds in stock, but will only dispense EXACTLY what was called in. And, I am going out of town next week, and it is oh so fun to randomly cramping and spotting at a conference!!!

RAGE.

Fucking rage indeed. Maybe Vortex should get the punchbowl.

This:

From my other grandma, I got all I wanted, too, which was one of her hair curlers. She used to let us take her curlers out when we were kids, we loved doing it.

Made me smile. One of my most treasured things from my gramma is her porcelain commode (with lid!) full of her curlers. She used to let me play with them and put them in my hair and hers. It sat on a doily on top of her dresser, which I also have.

t makes grabby hands at all your stuff

Vortex should definitely at least get some punch from the punchbowl.

The cousin should just get punched. Can you tell her you don't have it anymore? "Sorry, it broke. Otherwise I would TOTALLY give it to you. Also, I want the hope chest" (I mean, really, is she going to drop in in New Orleans unexpectedly? You'll have time to hide the sucker)

Vortex, no one should have to deal with healthcare jackassery AND family jackassery in one day. No fucking way.

Nora, unless it was a cousin I was close to, I would tell her to suck it. (And if I were close to her, I would hope the punch bowl thing could have been brought up in a nice way, which obviously it wasn't, ergo.)

Can we hire Nora's cousin to be Vortex's mom's chauffeur? The BCP fiasco would make me stabby, too, Vortex.

So, my mother calls today and asks for "a favor". She doesn't want to ride with my brother. I tell her that it doesn't make any sense, she counters with "I don't ask you to go out of your way very often" (@@ eleventy billion) So, I have to go EARLY to her place and deal with this shit.

No you don't. Make her go with your brother.

My air conditioners won't be put in the windows until Tuesday, and it's just ridiculously hot here. I've got windows open and the ceiling fan on, which has gotten it to just bearable, but still too hot to sleep.

Vortex, make her go with your brother!

Nora I'm sorry you are dealing with family asshattery.

The worst situation I know of is what happened to G'ma (Mom's mom). So my Mom's parents were married for over 50 years and my grandfather died of lung cancer. G'ma and Grandpa had been good friends with another couple who also was married for 50+ years, and in that case the wife died.

So G'ma and her friend, F became romantically involved and decided to get married. This is after both deceased spouses had been dead for a couple of years. Everyone sane in both families thought this was wonderful. Everyone insane in the family (which would be my Aunt W and F's daughter "Nomi") thought this was horrible and a desecration of the memory of their father/mother!! But G'ma and F had a great marriage until he got sick and died. G'ma and F also had a prenup and the only main thing was F made arrangements so G'ma could continue to live in their house until she was no longer able to, at which point it would go to his heirs.

G'ma, only lived there for about a year until Nomi made things so miserable by dropping by unannounced, getting copies of the key and just walking in, taking stuff and making nasty comments that G'ma moved back into her house, which luckily she hadn't sold.

Nomi also managed to get a bank teller to give her access to G'ma and F's joint account and took money from it; challenged the will in court, and sued her own siblings for a bigger share of her inheritance.

Unfortunately Aunt W is also causing drama now that G'ma has died. Mom's sister J helped ensure that G'ma could stay at her home until it became unsafe for her to stay by herself for a few hours. Because of this there's actually an estate to settle and it wasn't eaten up by nursing home costs. So my uncle suggests - why not give J a bigger share of the inheritance since she's the reason there even is one. W has balked that she's "poor" and can't afford not to get the money. I'm not sure how accurate this is but now J isn't talking to W at all.

Although there is background of tension. My Aunt W is 70 (I think) and according to her own statements, still resents the fact she wasn't an only child. This is based on statements she's made in the past few years. She was also in complete denial about G'ma's dementia and at the end when J and Mom were praying that G'ma would just pass in her sleep W was talkign about how much she just wanted G'ma to "get better" and live longer. At this point G'ma was in extreme pain and had severe dementia. But W wasn't ready to let go so she was hoping G'ma would live longer.