And because this wants to not be in the same post as the happy bits of Mothers' Day....
Just got off the phone with mine. I'm both proud of my restraint, and somewhat skeeved. She is in much closer contact with my ex-stepfather than I, as someone who helped finance her move out of that abusive relationship, like. When she started going on about how someone who used to live across the hall from her current apartment but did not know her previously is "still in contact with Brad, and they help each other out sometimes, when Brad's car is working, which isn't often", I calmly said, "I'm sorry, I don't care to hear details of Brad's life." She was quiet a moment then said, "Well, it was a sad situation, but everything is going to be ok." I'm grateful that she respected the boundary that I set as well as she did. But it really skeeves me to be confronted with just how her brain has over-written the truth of her situation with a narrative about how good it is for her to be "friends" with her ex.
Good for you, Andi. That's a good boundary to have, both for your sanity and for your mom's reality.
I was listening to a book this week that cited some study about how a memory is 'enhanced' every time we have it...for better or worse. I can see why your mom would want to have a rosier perspective on her past experience. Goodness knows, I have done that. But, yesh.
In other news, I got the greatest email from a client today that...being the non-mathy type...I had to reread a bunch of times before I totally got it. I have to say, I've never had a more...um...arith-matic?...compliment:
I hope you find joy in knowing that you complete your mission each and everyday.
Just know that you more than ADD to the SUM total of humanity. In fact, you rename the odd ones unique, multiply the remaining negative products in an even way, and create positive exponents. Those who subtracted from you earlier did not divide you later. They simply underestimated the power of the elevated number.
They focused on the zero and completely missed the what was in front of it. In this context, they missed The One. Yes, 10 to the power of 10.
Wow.
I thought I'd share an email I got today from one of my mom's closest friends:
I miss your mom, too, and was thinking about laughing with her when looking at a photo of her with Brenda after their first mothers' day lunch. They both look fierce. It had apparently been a lunch not to repeat, ending with Brenda hooking her finger as they were leaving, pouring coffee all over Pat and the table. When I reminded your Dad of this he said he remembered it well and also remember that was the day they rescued a snapping turtle from the thruway and kept it in the bathtub.
My family, let me show you it.
Happy mother's day to everyone who has, or has had a mom, and to everyone who has mothered someone else even a little at some time or another. Or yelled, "don't make me stop this car!" even once.
It was a good day. We went for a bike ride and then met my parents for lunch and an arboretum walk - not what I would have chosen, but it made my mom happy. She came over after and helped us garden, which she loves doing, and for the most part, I got to put the plants where I wanted them to go. The others can be moved later. HKF and I started the day of reading Prince Caspian. That's a good way to start the day.
I miss being able to take my mom out on Mother's Day, but on the flip side I was taken out by my daughter and had a truly wonderful day to celebrate me. It felt odd, but good.
the day of reading Prince Caspian
extra lovely with an extra 'f' to make 'off'. Even I couldn't figure out how to read that line this morning.
{{Sail}}
Wow, it must be a Monday, it's awfully quiet in here.
nnnrrggghh. The weekends are too short.
