Poor beth. Being sick is no fun. And yeah, that's how 'ffistas roll. When one's down, the others can take up the comforting/advising slack. Which is awesome.
The SO gave me a mental health day off today. I resisted, but was it ever the right call. I slept till eleven, puttered about, ate lunch for breakfast and breakfast for lunch, drank Earl Grey tea (2 boxes for $4!) and played Sims. AND it got me back on track enough to where I actually managed household chores today! Dishes, cleaned out fridge, which made it into the trash before the trash guy came, yay!, and laundry. I would go into the attic, except I can't figure out where the SO left the cordless drill, so I'm going to count it as enough.
I really do feel much more level, somehow. I took a little time to take an inventory of what I'm feeling and what I'm reacting to. I had an epiphany that while the Tohoku earthquake and subsequent tsunami did not end up having a personal effect on me, it was also not an entirely external event for me either, basically affecting me on an identity level.
That helped enough to let me acknowledge that I'm basically experiencing a reaction to trauma, even though I didn't experience it directly. So internet resources for PTSD have proved much more helpful than internet resources for depression. Because I'm not having self-image problems, really. I mean, I could be the pope, and I wouldn't be able to solve this problem.
So digging my way out of this hole is going to be more about finding ways to recognize my reactions, experience them, and channel them. So I have a self-care plan!
And it includes social support. You guys are my social support, right?
Thanks for the kind words, all. I'm feeling a little better this evening. I spent nearly an hour this afternoon in a conversation with a young person who'd spent some time in juvie and never finished high school and was now trying to "turn his life around". He kept asking me about what I did, and what jobs I'd had and how did I get to where I am, and what books and magazines I read, and what I thought was the most important thing he could do to succeed. He asked me if my education had really helped me, and how hard it was to run a business, and if I thought he should learn another language. I did my best to be encouraging, and answer his questions focusing on him and not me. After that conversation, I felt like maybe I'm not such a loss as a human after all. I've done a lot of stuff, I know a lot of actually useful stuff, and despite that I haven't done everything I wanted to do, I have done pretty well. At the end of the day I'm still fat, but maybe being fat is the least important thing about me, and maybe I should focus on the things that really are important.
Then I ate pizza.
Good for you, Zen. That sounds great.
Zen, glad you're feeling better. Good perspective, there.
Liese, good on the SO and good on you for taking the time to figure out what was going on and how to deal with it. It's hard to take down time, but the right down time can make one much more productive and happy in the long run.
So I have a self-care plan!
That's impressive!
And it includes social support. You guys are my social support, right?
That's what we're here for! Also to make porny jokes, discuss food, and smite those who piss you off. We've pretty much got you covered.
bonny, at least you know what was causing Bboy's tummy upset! So that's good. What's with animals eating things that aren't food? Mike and I had a Samoyed who would eat lollipop sticks, the paper ones. We walked him in a park near a school, so there were a lot of them. And the one thing Sam would not let anyone do was take food (or "food") away from him. We tried really hard to find them before he did, but it never hurt him - I guess he just chewed them up. My cat Percy will chew on plastic until he gets bits off he can swallow. Leo will eat rubber bands. I don't get it. Never mind taste, that doesn't even *feel* like food!
That's what we're here for! Also to make porny jokes, discuss food, and smite those who piss you off. We've pretty much got you covered.
The best kind of social support, imho.
It certainly is a mystery to me, Zen. The worst of it is that Bartleby will eat food-adjacent stuff. The jelly and the cupcakes may make him queasy...or jumpy...but the paper and the plastic? I don't get it.
So I have a self-care plan!
That's impressive!
What Zen said, Liese. Good for you for pursuing an answer and working the one you found.
I have sleep for most of two days . I never sleep that much and yet I am not miraculously better.
good for you Liese and Zen
I'm still looking into summer stuff. I just realized that Gallaudet requires anyone who's staying in a dorm on campus while taking a course to also sign up for a meal plan at $33 a day. This is more than a little ridiculous, right?
