My mother seems to think that she's going to be getting some grandchildren soon. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking. I told her that I'm volunteering in the cat wing at the local shelter, and her first response was that I can't work with cats if I'm pregnant. Whenever she visits my sister and notices the hundred years worth of paint peeling in a few corners of her apartment, she tells her that she's going to have to get that fixed before getting pregnant. Neither of us have given her any indication that we're planning on having a baby any time soon.

No thread killing, just weekend lull.

I came home last night. Still in bed today, working on computer. My son made me breakfast in bed so apparently I was missed. I wrote to my sister in NY and told her I really think she should come down and visit mom. I know she is really busy with work, but I think everyone will benefit from a visit.

I just don't know what is going to happen with mom. She doesn't have one big bad thing that can be fixed, or not. Her blood pressure and heart rate aren't what they should be, but they can be controlled with meds. Her values in a bunch of nutrients aren't what they should be, but that can be controlled to a certain degree. She has zero energy and is on oxygen, that can improve with physical therapy and work. She is old and things don't work the way they should without effort and intervention. It all depends on whether she is willing to do the hard work.

She is in a place where she feels she has lived a good life. She has outlived everyone she knew growing up. Her last childhood friend died last summer. She vastly outlived in number of years all her family. I'm afraid she is ready and none of us want that to be true, but it isn't our decision either.

black coffee:

Hey Hill, xpost because it took me a long time to write the above. Now are you sure you aren't planning to get pregnant? My MIL is like that. She has all grandsons and really would like a granddaughter. 3 of her 4 kids are done so the one remaining is getting a lot of pressure. Becky would like kids, but poor thing is doomed if she has sons because grandma has such a desire of a girl.

Many have argued that the level increased pay for specialists is out of line and is harming our health care system.

I will say that, as much as I *love* my primary-care doctor and do trust my life with him, I'm okay with him being paid less than the neurosurgeon who sliced open my back and removed things from my spine and put me back together in such a manner that I still worked properly.

But your specialist would probably have done just as good a job if he or she were paid only a lot more than your GP instead of shitloads more than your GP. (Can you tell I'm too lazy this morning to look up statistics?)

She is in a place where she feels she has lived a good life. She has outlived everyone she knew growing up. Her last childhood friend died last summer. She vastly outlived in number of years all her family. I'm afraid she is ready and none of us want that to be true, but it isn't our decision either.

Laura, this can be so hard for the ones who will be left behind.

I desperately wanted Niki to survive this last difficulty, but had to be okay with her going if that was what she chose. In the end, I'm glad she recovered, but the closeness of the thing gave me the opportunity to 'finish' what I needed to tell her and to do what I needed to do.

I wrote her a poem. She is BIG into homespun poetry...every birthday card I get from her includes some jaunty rhyme. I included all the things I love about our life together. She LOVED it...especially that it wasn't sad...and took it with her to California.

Now, I know that when the time comes, my heart will be a bit lighter because I won't have any regret. It also makes our conversations now lighter, because I've given up on my need being greater than hers.

In any case, I'm glad your mom is home and hope that she feels motivated to do what needs doing.

(Niki is sadly NOT motivated, so it's just a matter of time until the next crisis...but that has to be okay.)

{{{{{Laura}}}}} I don't really have much to say, other than I wish I lived within striking distance so I could either do something useful to help, or at least just to be there.

her first response was that I can't work with cats if I'm pregnant.

And that so is not true anyway. You would want to avoid cleaning up the litter boxes, but it's way more likely to become infected with toxoplasmosis by exposure to improperly handled meat (and by extension any cutting boards, counters, utensils, hands, etc that may be contaminated) or gardening, than through a contaminated litter box. And yet, the hysterical warnings never include forcing everyone who might possibly come in contact with a pregnant woman to become vegetarians.

Yeah. People still think cats 'take a baby's breath.'

sigh.

Cats just need better PR representation.

Cats just need better PR representation.

Cats need to stop taking babies' breath, is what I'm thinking.

Speaking of, Ryan is using more Chinese with his grandparents around. For green vegetables, he doesn't use the English, but the much simpler Chinese cai (pronounced "tsai"). I've been trying to get him to say milk for a little while, but to no avail; he has, however, taken to the Chinese term niunai. In Ryanspeak it comes out as "Neener".

His bedtime toy is a frog. Strictly, it's a square of fluffy fabric, with a frog head and two arms in the middle. More strictly, it's two such frogs, so we can wash them. Anyway, I've always called them his froggy friend, because I have no imagination. Ryan knows better, and his dubbed his frog(s) Bubby. Who am I to argue?

This morning he awoke and, apparently being in no hurry to get up, instead amused himself by singing to Bubby. It amused the rest of us too.

Oh, Laura, that's so difficult.

Ryan continues to set new world records in adorableness on a daily basis.

I'm home, back in the Cackalack. Very tired, still sick, not looking forward to work tomorrow. And it might snow! WTF. It won't stick, though. It was a tough week - it always is, but this year was particularly wearing for a number of reasons. Being around B, being sick, trying to make recycling happen, and missing out on a networking opportunity. But it was still chock full of awesome, and honestly I missed my best friend, my dog, and my bartender. That's about it. That job I was waiting on is officially not going to happen, which is fine. Time to move on.