Sheesh Hil, you've already eliminated all the major sources of cholesterol (i.e. animal products), what other kind of "diet change" is supposed to help? (Aside from copious quanities of oatmeal and cheerios)

A few years ago, a doctor sent me a letter telling me to reduce my intake of red meat and dairy products. It's like, at least make an effort to pretend you're not just sending a form letter. This one kind of puzzles me with its advice to "change diet" and absolutely no suggestions of what changes to make.

Unless you are loading up on palm oil and coconut milk and such, either directly or in the better tasting vegan cheeses and so forth, can't imagine what you could do better in your diet.

is this the same Dr who was so understanding of your exercise limitations?

Steph is there a possibility that without his cell phone he doesn't have your phone number available? It has hit me a few times that without my phone I have very few numbers committed to memory any more.

Smonster, I'm sorry if I was insensitive to you or anyone else with what I posted earlier. I have never known anyone who committed suicide before.

No, you absolutely weren't. I just needed to share or something, it's what I do.

Steph is there a possibility that without his cell phone he doesn't have your phone number available? It has hit me a few times that without my phone I have very few numbers committed to memory any more.

When he was sentenced, he asked an officer (or guard?), who was VERY nice to do so, to go out to his car and get this cell phone so he could copy down Tim's number to call him and let him know he had to serve 5 days. So he had it, because he called Tim Thursday after he was sentenced. It's possible he threw it away afterward, in which case my sympathy is again evaporating quickly.

No, you absolutely weren't. I just needed to share or something, it's what I do.

Well, it's what we do.

Teppy, this kid definitely sounds not bright.

Again, you absolutely are not morally required to let him sleep on your couch if it will be awful for you. Not telling you what to decide, but you are still a good person if you say "no".

He could have had everything--even a slip of paper--confiscated when he was put in jail. You walk in in your birthday suit with your prison uniform folded in your arms, in some places. He'll get it back with the rest of his "personal effects" when he's released. I'd first expect and believe that while you're being told he has phone privilege and access, he may, in actual fact, not have. Or he may not know how to access the phone in his current situation.

I know the limbo of uncertainty is awful, and I know he's earned whatever he's going through by his actions or inactions. All I'm saying is I doubt he's refraining from contact because he doesn't want to get in touch.

Also, this?

I was doing what I needed to do for MYSELF. The fact that my father benefited was essentially beside the point.

Is where 95% of any benefit of the doubt or mercy or forgiveness comes from with me. I am not a good or a nice person. But I need to jettison every bit of anger, fear, or hatred--justified or not--in order to survive, so that's what I try to do. If someone else benefits, fine. But I don't do it for them.

Or he may not know how to access the phone in his current situation.

Yeah, my first thought was maybe he thinks he IS doing you a favor by not calling--not costing you/Tim more money? If nothing has changed and he's still getting out the same day/time, he may figure "it's five days, nothing's changed, I just need to get through these days and then we'll figure it all out".