Cashmere beat me to it. After reading about the jailed one's insensitivity the two thoughts that occurred to me were
1) He might not have that privilege quite yet. Years with the cops taught me that nothing is ever predictable in situations like that...clearly Cash's experience supports that.
But also, 2) Jailed One's lifestyle and issues have led him to be incarcerated. Expecting him to be conscientious, self aware and concerned about the feelings of others might be a bit of a stretch at the moment. Even if he IS those things, under his current restraints, it might be hard.
My dexh was big on having opinions based on experience and offered to let me spend the night in holding cell (very small, underused station...by not means MAXSEC). Being all game and stuff, I agreed. Until I got there. To say I chickened out would be an insult to chickens.
Later, when I volunteered at Jessup (Maryland MAXSEC), just walking from one building to the next was so oppressive...well, it had a big impact.
Jailed One should be grateful and responsive. I'm not surprised that he isn't and I would hate for you and Tim to take that personally when you are being such good people.
Teppy, as someone who's had a loved on in jail and prison, something else could be preventing him from calling. Everything besides food is a "privilege" in jail so he could very well not be allowed to make a call.
Also, I made a FOUR HOUR one-way trip to visit my brother in prison. I was on the list my brother gave to the prison but I was turned away after going through extensive pat downs because a clerk left my name off the list.
You know, after reading John Edgar Wideman in high school, I began to have my doubts about the efficacy of the American prison system. I don't believe it achieves its alleged goals of "rehabilitating" criminals. And more and more I'm not thinking it does any good for the public, either. Because, once again, I don't know what purpose it serves to have this kid in jail. I get that the prison system is designed, in part, to be punitive, but I don't think that punishment acts as a deterrent. He missed 1 visit with his PO, because he didn't get the letter telling him to report, because he was homeless and sleeping on a couch at someone's house other than the address his mail was going to.
(Granted, I am not saying that you shouldn't be checking your mail if at all possible, but still. My point is that this kid is not a violent goddamn criminal and I do not see the point of locking him up. I don't live in the county in which he's incarcerated, but if I did, I'd be annoyed that my tax dollars were going to keep him incarcerated, fed, and showered. And the idea that my tax dollars are paying for similar non-violent criminals to be housed in my county PISSES me off.)
But also, 2) Jailed One's lifestyle and issues have led him to be incarcerated. Expecting him to be conscientious, self aware and concerned about the feelings of others might be a bit of a stretch at the moment. Even if he IS those things, under his current restraints, it might be hard.
Jailed One should be grateful and responsive. I'm not surprised that he isn't and I would hate for you and Tim to take that personally when you are being such good people.
You guys, I VERY MUCH appreciate this perspective. Since I'm vascillating between weepy despair and rage blackouts, this really, REALLY helps. I don't know what I would do without my Buffistas.
Nora, no! I'd been thinking about that since sj posted it. Just needed to get it off my chest, is all. And yes, there are lots of reasons to be angry in a situation like that.
(Granted, I am not saying that you shouldn't be checking your mail if at all possible, but still. My point is that this kid is not a violent goddamn criminal and I do not see the point of locking him up. I don't live in the county in which he's incarcerated, but if I did, I'd be annoyed that my tax dollars were going to keep him incarcerated, fed, and showered. And the idea that my tax dollars are paying for similar non-violent criminals to be housed in my county PISSES me off.)
I am right there with you.
The hardcore guys I worked with at Jessup did not seem rehabilitated in the least and one inmate who really struck me as 'in the wrong place at the wrong time' was being slowly killed by the system.
One light note in all of that morass was the inmate who sidled up to me and stated with some pride, "I've never been arrested for something I did not do." Turns out he had a lifelong habit of robbing banks to support the violent overthrow of the government.
It was refreshing, if a bit creepy, because he was the ONLY one...including the murderers and rapists who wasn't, in his own mind, innocent.
the inmate who sidled up to me and stated with some pride, "I've never been arrested for something I did not do." Turns out he had a lifelong habit of robbing banks to support the violent overthrow of the government.
That's...I don't want to say "awesome," but at least he owned his shit, you know?
Ooh, don't get me started on what I think about our justice system. At least I didn't have to go on public record with it since I got semi-permanently excused from jury duty, but suffice it to say, I don't think the system works in any sense of the word.
Sorry I've been skippy, skimmy, and periodically stoned, but where was the pup the whole time he was in the hoosegow?
Smonster, I'm sorry if I was insensitive to you or anyone else with what I posted earlier. I have never known anyone who committed suicide before.
