It always amazes me that some guys will do most anything to get INSIDE a vagina, but dealing with a vag as anything other than a penis-wallet is anathema.

My eye-rolling, let me show you it.

I totally agree with Erin (well said, dear) with one minor variation.

When in high dudgeon, it is easy to focus on the potentially awful stuff that hasn't happened yet. I firmly believe that focusing on the 'I'm going to lose it ifs' rather than on the 'here is what it will take for this to work out well for us's' just brings the negative outcome that much closer to reality.

Knowing Tim only by what I read here, it seems hard to imagine that he would want to sacrifice the awesome thing he's got going on for anything, much less this.

I can't think of a time in my own life when an angry ultimatum has ever gotten me what I thought I wanted. I've never heard, "Oh my god, you are totally right. I AM the world's biggest asshole and, knowing that, I will now do exactly what you ask."

I HAVE experienced my feelings being respected when I express them clearly, with perhaps less dudgeon than I actually feel. BUT, without piling on a bunch of stuff that is fodder for defensiveness (on both sides).

Tep, I think that you need to say

it's the fact that it's Tim's FORMER relationship that's taking precedence over his current one.

this to Tim, he may not realize. Also, if he is going to help the kid, the extent of the help has to be explicit as in "you can stay here for one week. After that, we are putting your stuff in storage, for which we will pay one month."

Also, I would not give him a key to the house. Which may seem harsh, and inconvenient for you, but it makes it clear that he is not staying.

Eyes are the first parts to rigidify. After seven days they're bulging from the sockets but still intact. Not sure exactly when they collapse.

Yeah, this is how far I was able to get with the information I've already found.

About a month, according to this: [link]

ETA: URL that was stripped out.

EATA: Very disturbing for those who don't handle details of decomposition well.

Urgh. I just totally broke down crying uncontrollably talking to my sister, and then my roommate. I really, REALLY, used up all my energy reserves for that fundraiser, and I'm still paying the price. All I've done today is smoke, drink coffee, and watch tv. And I wish I could keep going in that vein, but I really, really can't.

I do have several scary books I might look in...would you like me to do that? I know it would be easier if I could say "twelve days," but it would be BS.

That would rock, thanks. And yes the hivemind truly is fierce. I shall look into the body farm as well as checking out Daniel's link when I get home. You all are fabulous.

Have you eaten, smonster? You should eat.

I ate brunch but probably need to eat again. Greek yogurt, maybe. Easy protein.

Also, I would not give him a key to the house.

Oh, hell, no.

smonster, you are doing a wonderful thing, I wish it weren't making you so exhausted.

And speaking of decomposing corpses, are you all aware of the Virtual Autopsy at the University of Leicester? It's an actual teaching tool, that anyone can use, with a series of 18 cases where you use autopsy information to determine cause of death. Much fun, if you're into that sort of thing.