Why not just talk to the pharmacist?

Beverly, I think that is a pretty realistic view. Parenting isn't all love and light; it's damn hard work, and I think looking back and saying "I think I would have made a different choice about becoming a parent if I would have known more."

It doesn't mean you don't love your kids; it just means you see a different path that could have happened and you would have preferred much of it.

I think not too many parents have the courage to THINK something like this, because the stigma, it BURNS. I think it just means "I wish my life had followed a different path."

I think it's totally valid to say, "I might have been happier if I'd made different choices" and still say, "I love what I have now, that I would not have had making those other choices." Speaking, again, as a non-parent, I've made decisions that brought me a lot of pain and trouble, and while I can say I wish I hadn't done that, I have a lot of people in my life whom I cherish that I would not have had if I'd taken a different path (including my sister).

I can easily imagine that if I'd made a different choice a couple times back then, I could now be the parent saying the same thing Beverly said.

Yeah, it's not even a wish. I mean, I know you can't change the past, and I'm not sure I would if it was an option.

What I would change--and it is changing, but I'm constantly in fear that it's being changed back by misguided politicians--is the automatic expectation that you 1. graduate, 2. get a fabulous job, 3. get married, 4. buy a house, 5. have kids, not always in that order, but those are the things that are supposed to happen. And if they don't, you're a failure as an Amurrican.

Our expectations should be wider, and things should be decided on what we want--what we'll want in five years or ten, no matter if the fabulous job comes through, or the money runs out before we finish that degree, or we get a chronic illness that limits our realistic expectations.

I got married because I fell in love. I haven't regretted that, but I wish I hadn't believed that was what was *supposed* to happen. Or that the thing that followed automatically was kids.

Barb, much health~ma for your FIL and safe travels~ma for Lewis. If there's anything that I can do, please let me know.

Continued ~ma for Mickey.

ChiKat, I hope the second scenario is your reality in regards to Mickey.

IOshallowN,I have lost my new favorite lipstick at some point between yesterday afternoon and today. I've got 10 others in my purse, but I lost my go-to for work. It was practically brand-new too. I'll have to stop by the MAC counter at Nordstrom tomorrow.

Why not just talk to the pharmacist?

Because if he was the one who said it would be ok, what would complaining to him solve? I didn't think I would be advantaged by speaking to him directly.

FWIW, I've met one of Beverly's sons, and he's awesome. StY is a great person, and you should be proud of having raised him.

As for me, I'm too selfish to choose to be a parent. I like going out to dinner and sleeping in on weekends. I am lucky to be able to make that choice (both in the societal expectation sense and the legal sense) however, if I were to become a parent, I'd be the best damned mom I could,and my kids would be raised by the Buffista Village

I like going out to dinner and sleeping in on weekends.

I like those things.