My resentment is more directed at the same people's fantasy that "good" always has to look like "available for mid-day commuting in a newish car".

An incredibly good point.

You know, I've definitely thought about and wanted to be a parent, at different times of my life. But one of the things that seriously hampered my desire was society's expectations of what a good parent is. I would have gone ballistic at how judgy people can be (other parents and non-parents) and I don't know that I wouldn't have just been angry a lot of the time. Damn do I wish we had a more truly supportive and accepting society.

I am also glad you're not dead, Bonny, for purely selfish reasons--I'd have missed your wit and insight.

ChiKat, I'm glad the new vet is less gung-ho about invasive treatments. I know that tightrope you're walking, and I still have to be stern with myself for second guessing decisions I've made in the past. But my criteria then was, and would be now, what would I want for myself in that position. Being loved and coddled and allowed to enjoy my life is pretty high on that list, I'll tell you.

Confession: I had kids because that was the expected Next Thing. I was crap at it (Well, I was good at getting and being pregnant and delivering healthy, pretty babies. I was crap at parenting). I was way too young, and still too self-involved. If they hadn't been such stellar little human beings and suckered me into falling for them completely, I never would have made the effort to learn how to parent. I love my kids fiercely.

Looking back and knowing what I do now? I would have chosen not to have kids. There were moments of joy that I could never have experienced otherwise. But if we're being totally honest (and my offspring will not read this, ever), those moments don't balance the worry, the anger, the awful feelings of failure and futility, the certainty they're going to grow up to be axe murderers, the fear that your half-jest isn't half. I love my kids. But my life would have been happier, less stressful, and more personally fulfilling without them. Different uses for modest incomes, more travel, more experiencing the world first-hand instead of through them, insuring they had opportunities--which they often devalued and wasted.

Again, I emphasize, I love my kids. But it's a relief and a welcome development that parenthood is no longer a perceived requirement for being a married adult.

It's so weird to say "I'm 50." Grandparents are 50! But, technically, I am a grandma, too. Which isn't such a big thing in Utah, because I've met 39-year-old grandmas. It's a big psychological thing to change that decade number.

Looking back and knowing what I do now? I would have chosen not to have kids. There were moments of joy that I could never have experienced otherwise. But if we're being totally honest (and my offspring will not read this, ever), those moments don't balance the worry, the anger, the awful feelings of failure and futility, the certainty they're going to grow up to be axe murderers, the fear that your half-jest isn't half. I love my kids. But my life would have been happier, less stressful, and more personally fulfilling without them. Different uses for modest incomes, more travel, more experiencing the world first-hand instead of through them, insuring they had opportunities--which they often devalued and wasted.

Thank you so very much for having the courage and generosity to post this, Beverly.

paging Jilli - that tea room in Philly you mentioned? on 4th street? Know what else is on 4th street? All of the fabric stores and button stores and finding stores. Obviously I need to go down there to do some advance-team work for you.

I just picked up my meds, and my Humulin R insulin was in with my pills in a baq on the shelf. Refilled two days ago. Should I be worried?

Thank you.

Well, it feels a little like standing here with no clothes on, but since my ongoing onerous task is to keep myself from being pansy-assed as often as possible, you're welcome.

Connie, got to agree with Gar. Ageism is rampant, and it's vicious, due to job scarcity. It's like having to have a masters to flip burgers. Lines have to be drawn to eliminate multiple people to fill jobs, and age is one of those lines.

You may feel like glorying in that number, and it's well-earned. But you might want to exclude the workplace as a place to do that, just out of prudence.

Daniel--do you mean your meds for the month of May were ready early? Or that your current meds were filled early, and together so that you didn't have to wait for one of them? Or that your insulin was on a shelf and not refrigerated? I'll worry with or for you, I just need to be clear on what to worry about.

No, I meant "my." Typo, corrected.

And yes, the insulin was not refrigerated in the two days since the prescription was filled. Sitting on a shelf in the Walmart pharmacy.