Aims, I didn't see the unexpurgated version of your post, but Cass already said what I was thinking, so I'll just copy it:

You are not a terrible friend or a bad person. You are human. Just human. I am so sorry, sweetie.

As for the bits about that pavlovian, knee-jerk, expectation left over from childhood or other previously abusive situations in spite of all evidence to the contrary that we are out of the danger, I get it too. I can't think of a time when Daniel has yelled at me. He has yelled near me, say, at the computer, or at a piece of furniture against which he has stubbed his toe, perfectly ordinary times to yell. (I have certainly yelled at things near him, as well. I don't think I've yelled at him, either.) No abuse in it. Yet, I still have to take a few deep breaths and concentrate to keep my heart from pounding.

Generally the only time Andi and I are rude to each other is when we are being hit by outside forces. If it happens, I usually apologize and we move on.

The man apologizes like he's British. He apologizes for apologizing. He apologizes way more than I do. I have to put a bit of effort into not letting him take all the blame for stuff. In fact, I don't think I have put enough effort into that. I'm sorry, dear.

Erm. I have four SIX corsets sitting in my shopping cart. One bottle green overbust, one red damask underbust, one black halter, one super-sexy black (the german fashion one), one silver brocade stripe, the silver green Victorian, and the black Basque.

I *really* like the halter one! It's tempting. I like the silver brocade stripe, but I kind of wish it didn't have the brocade at the top. And that bottle green color is amazing.

All right, Bitches, help me out here. Pick your favorite three pour moi.

Rhinestone black satin - [link]

Bottle green taffetta overbust - [link]

Red/black floral underbust damask - [link]

Black halterneck - [link]

Victorian silver-green - [link]

Silver/black brocade - [link]

I left out the Basque, realizing there were SEVEN and it's my least favorite. Please keep in mind that I have no corsets currently and I'm planning to move to NOLA (yes, that's part of my justification).

I like the red/black underbust, the Victorian silver-green, and the silver/black brocade, smonster

Pick your favorite three pour moi.

I started to just kneejerk list my 3 favorite in general, but then I realized that how they look ON YOU is relevant. So...

The bottle green (it's just such a classic style, and the color is awesome)

Red/black floral underbust damask (it's lovely, AND that way you have an overbust AND an underbust)

The halter (because it's awesome AND then you have a black corset, and that's a classic goes-with-everything corset)

I friggin love the burlesque silver/blk. I'd shy away from the underbust but only because i've have less than stellar experiences with underbusts (less sleek and elegant, more milkmaid).

I like the silver/black brocade.

Teppy's answers are mine as to which ones I think would look best on you, smonster. I really like the black halterneck.

I keep going back to that pink with black corset. That is a DAMN good price for a steel boned corset. Is it worth it for me to blow 2+ weeks worth of spending money?

Okay, I'm sold on the bottle green and the halter, but torn between the underbust red and the overbust silver/black. Y'all know I'm a fiend for red/black, but I'm just not sure... and with the halter, I could wear a red skirt. Hmm.

eta the red/black underbust is WAY more on sale. We have a winnah.

eta more - wait, i thought it was three for two, and it's not giving me one free. WTF?

The halter and the striped damask are in my cart too. Along with these:

brown satin [link]

black pinstripe with pleats [link]