Every. Time. you find yourself obsessing know that what you REALLY want is NOT breaking your moral code, or acquiring a memory that will follow you for a very long time (believe me, I know whereof I speak).

{{{bonny}}} back at'cha, sister.

I know that. I thought I was better than this feeling, than having it. I cope well, but it's driving me crazy within. I'll never, ever choose my own happiness at others' expense. I just wish this whole tense... wouldn't be here. I have better, other things to waste my time and energy on. We get along good. Appreciate each other's limited company. Leaving it at that, and keeping at least a meter away from each other at all times. And I do want more in terms of strictly friendship from him. But right now, I won't take the chance. And everything about it is and was hard: from first admitting it to myself, then to my friends, avoiding his company in non-sexual-manner, driving myself crazy for hours after seeing him for 5 minutes.

I want to believe I'll never do that to another person. But I believed that my hormones would know better than to crush on a Wrong Man (might be worth to mention it again: not in love. Just physical, just a crush, which I can tell from the friendship we have. And argh, I'm still deeply ashamed for feeling it). So I'm not taking that "let's get to know each other better" chance.

Have you ever seen My So-Called Life?

Funny you should ask. I adore it. Actually, it's the reason why I (re)discovered Buffy in the first place: the channel Buffy was on had MSCL before it, and sometime my parents taped it as well.

Thank you for all of your support, people. Again, I love you.

Oh, Typo, you meant go and search for imaginary crashes over actors?

Dude, I'm a sci-fi fan. I have 7 seasons of Buffy, 5 of Angel, 1 of Firefly, Torchwood, Dr. Who (the definition of unobtainable, methinks, as he's not only fictional, but an alien), and that's only what I can come up with for now. I mean, Ianto and Ten are much more attractive and much more unobtainable than Wrong Guy. And oh, God, you're right, I think they're a better distraction (but alas, only distractions. They're not real. But they're very foamy. Did I mention Ianto, again? And Ten? Possibly together? Where's that fic, people?)).

But I love it that you went and searched for pictures of hot dead men for me.

God, I love this board.

Just finished watching Empty Child/Doctor Dances . . . mmm, Captain Jack. Now there's an unattainable crush.

He's too extrovert. I'm sticking to Ten and Ianto at the moment.

My head is a happy place right now, which I couldn't say about it for the past few hours.

Again, I love you people.

And Ianto.

And Ten.

#10

Iantoooo... drool

It's bugs me that, I'm just sitting in front of the computer, looking the same way I look 75% of the time. But someone walks in the room and I instantly go red because I'm looking at pictures of gorgeous men.

Funny you should ask. I adore it.

Well, you say unobtainable and wrong, I think Angel (which I know you know) and then Jordan Catalano.

Mmm, Ten.

And of course, in the "it took me long, but damn, he's gorgeous" category: Benedict Cumberbatch.

Bumbley Cumbersnatch! NOM.