Nope, not Dr. Laura, unless she yelled at her mom for something that she shouldn't be shocked by at all by now. While said mom is ill.

ETA: Simply put, my mom gave me a check for something a month ago and I called her to tell her it was for too much and that I'd give her back $x. Sometime in between then and now, we took my dad out to dinner and she asked if we'd pay for it and just deduct the cost from the $x. No problem. So today, when she was helping me by picking HKF up from school, she wanted to talk about 'settling up' - and had decided that I should be giving her 3 times the original $x because of some really knotty family math that is also related to me being a bad daughter. I knew better than to engage this. I backed away and tried to save it for another time, as I have several other conversations on awkward topics lately (Fox News, racism, etc.). The conversation kept going, I totally lost my cool, and ended up saying what I really think. A lot. In short. I suck.

{{{Sox}}} You do not suck; families are difficult.

Do you really think you suck, Sox, or is that what your mother is saying? Because I gotta say, your mother sucks, not you.

"Every class is a performance."

::nods, nods, nods:: Yup, took me a while to figure this out, and it was another student in a class I was taking that pointed it out to me, that she could see the change where I went from reciting from my teaching guide to "performing" and actually sounding interesting. It was a real eye opener.

This right here is one of the reasons getting married scares me. I need at least 1 day/WEEK by myself.

I am very lucky (and, obvs, Bob is too) that we have similar needs for alone time and no weirdnesses about taking it. Of course, him having to travel for his job a couple of times a month makes it so we have no choice and, frankly, sometimes leads to more apart time then we really want.

This right here is one of the reasons getting married scares me. I need at least 1 day/WEEK by myself.

I was really worried about this before I moved in with TCG, but we are both really good at both being at home and still doing our own thing.

but we are both really good at both being at home and still doing our own thing.

We are as well and, fortunately, have the space to do it.

families are difficult.

This. My mom's complex and knows which buttons to push to gin up a fight (she installed most of them), and I know oh so well by now to just keep money out of the relationship. And yet, I let it sneak in and it bit me in the butt and I lost my cool. The tough part is that I love her so very much and she makes me nuts and I let her. Thanks for letting me vent here. I apologize if this has upset anyone.

Yeah, I only need but so much alone time--and with all the travel I do I get PLENTY. I'd love more people time!

I am very lucky (and, obvs, Bob is too) that we have similar needs for alone time and no weirdnesses about taking it. Of course, him having to travel for his job a couple of times a month makes it so we have no choice and, frankly, sometimes leads to more apart time then we really want.

I can see where it could get too long when it's not in your control, but god that sounds ideal.

Sometimes, I feel bad not going with Dan to PA to see Micah more often, but (a) the thought of a whole weekend in his ex's house or in a hotel room, interacting and no room to get away fills me with dread, and (2) these are the ONLY times he ever goes away by himself, and I desperately want two or three days here to myself.

I can camp out in a hotel room or take myself off for an afternoon or something as a short term fix - I don't have to be in my space. But one thing I have realized over the past number of years is that it is very hard for me to be comfortable for any length of time in someone else's space. So if I'm visiting a city or something, it's a lot more comfortable for me to stay in a hotel than with someone, even though it can get kind of pricy. I think it's having having that space of absolute retreat or something. On the flip side I quite like having people stay with me, though if it's for any real length of time it's helpful if there are some known or understood down times.

It's almost more of an obstacle for just normal socializing - I'd really much rather have friends come here or meet somewhere neutral than go over, and that can get kind of awkward.

Only upset on your behalf, Sox. I guess it's a little bit of that taking on the feelings of the folks around you, we can even do it over the internet! {{Sox}} But I know what you mean; it's entirely possible to be upset with someone, but still love them very, very much.