Squishy boundaries are nobody's friend!

Also beautifully true.

Zen, bonny is wise. Say what you need to say, and let go of the results (SPOILER: that's the hardest part).

It strikes me as the most ironic of human comedies that the clients I see who are the angriest, most entitled, least able to navigate their lives healthfully are the ones who were the most indulged.

Over time, I've realized that spoiled is quite literal.

I've been that person, Zen.

I've also ended a couple of relationships. One self-involved brat continued in that path for a while afterward and then someone else may have slapped him and the double whammy woke him up, because he got help and got his life more straightened out than it was. It's not great, and probably won't ever be, but it's better. But he can't see that my reaction had a part in that, and he still resents me. We don't speak. I regret that part, but I don't regret speaking up, because one, it was killing me to watch and say nothing, and two, I know it made a difference, even if he doesn't, and I'm glad for that.

The other instance, she blew up in my face, stormed out, and I've never seen her again. She gave every mutual aquaintance an earful about how awful I was to her, and when asked, I've given a thumbnail of my side. It's cost some intimacy, but most of the friendships survived. I knew it was likely a lost cause going in, and did it anyway.

I've also held my tongue and just distanced myself rather than engage.

It's always a case-by-case, and if you go in knowing you're probably going to lose the relationship, any good that comes out of the confrontation is a pleasant surprise.

I know it made a difference, even if he doesn't, and I'm glad for that.

I applaud your courage and would lay money on the fact that you DID have an impact.

A favorite minister of mine says,"Sometimes, death IS the healing."

The relationships may end, but the courage it takes to be authentic lives on.

The relationships may end, but the courage it takes to be authentic lives on.

Jesus God, you people are especially full of wisdom tonight. I love you all so much, I can't even say.

And I've only had one bourbon and ginger, although I'm about to go get #2.

I'm watching White Collar. Damn I wish I was El, so I could be the jam in that sandwich.

Not to belabor the point of my physical travails, but I'm wondering why one should not take hot baths with a uti.

Since I'm on the antibiotic, would it matter?

The thing is, my body is so tired from holding it like you do when you don't feel well and my muscles are screaming.

On the other hand, I don't want to do ANYthing to jeopardize my recovery (which is, at the moment better than this morning by a good measure)

Would a bath really be a problem?

I think it's the fact the water you're marinating in isn't clean, and can get into places you'd just rinse over in the shower. A hot shower should help. Not as well as a soaky bath, but still good.

Would it be OK to take a bath and then rinse off in the shower before getting out?

Sigh. You are right. I know you are right. t /Carrie Fisher

Hot shower it is, then the heating pad and that novel I started last night.

That's the ticket.

FWIW, I've never had a doctor warn me against taking baths with a UTI.

[eta: bath salts and bubble baths should definitely be avoided, but only because they can cause additional pain/burning, they won't make the acutal infection any worse]