In my yearly review I got dinged for not being friendly with my coworkers. Apparently I'm not chatty enough in the lunch room and don't make an effort to have a work buddy. I'm afraid I got kind of snappy when I asked how being chatty about inanities in the lunch room affected my work as a tech support person over the phone and instant chats. I don't think my supervisor likes me as much anymore.
Oh, wow. This place looks great. Oh, I feel like a witch in a magic shop.
Willow ,'Help'
Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Connie Neil - Jan 26, 2011 8:35:32 am PST #13972 of 30000
brillig
smonster - Jan 26, 2011 8:36:19 am PST #13973 of 30000
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.
IOmeN: ! I didn't get the job because I don't have an outgoing enough personality! Not that I'm not competent but that I'm not bubbly enough! That is so bogus, I'm really angry!
Uggh. My recent roommate deals with this at work. The bubbly airhead who does jack gets better feedback than she, although she takes on lots of extra projects.
I would recommend looking for jobs that don't involve dealing with the public, but I suspect you are just applying to what's open since there's not much out there.
Vortex - Jan 26, 2011 8:36:32 am PST #13974 of 30000
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman
Good luck Vortex! Does that mean you have to commute to the law school?
Yes! I can no longer walk to work, boo! It was nice this morning to say "I don't want to deal with driving in shitty weather" and just stroll out of the door.
quester - Jan 26, 2011 8:40:43 am PST #13975 of 30000
Danger is my middle name, only I spell it R. u. t. h. - Tina Belcher.
I would recommend looking for jobs that don't involve dealing with the public, but I suspect you are just applying to what's open since there's not much out there.
Unfortunately, the job I have the most experience with is Receptionist. I never had any complaints from the clients and employers in KC, but that doesn't carry much weight in CR. Being friendly is very important in Iowa. Grrrrrrrr.
amyth - Jan 26, 2011 8:43:21 am PST #13976 of 30000
And none of us deserving the cruelty or the grace -- Leonard Cohen
I would argue that friendly and bubbly are not necessarily the same things.
quester - Jan 26, 2011 8:54:20 am PST #13977 of 30000
Danger is my middle name, only I spell it R. u. t. h. - Tina Belcher.
I would argue that friendly and bubbly are not necessarily the same things.
Right! But, I'm not unfriendly! So what am I doing wrong?
erikaj - Jan 26, 2011 8:54:20 am PST #13978 of 30000
Always Anti-fascist!
I think I am friendly...with my friends. Or, you know, friend prospects. But it is hard for me to turn on that blanket sunniness that seems to be regarded as Generic American Female. If I am having an awesome day, I might say hello or wave, but we all know there are those people who think "She Said Hello, She Must Want To Know The Story of My Life," which, because I am me, generally involves a near-death experience or gruesome medical procedure. You know, I'd really rather not. And as far as my sense of humor, most generic hooples DO NOT WANT. I've found that most strangers think I have an awesome sense of humor if I can wrest out a chuckle at "Working hard or hardly working?" or "Have you got a license for that thing?" for the eleventh-millionth time.
smonster - Jan 26, 2011 9:05:36 am PST #13979 of 30000
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.
Right! But, I'm not unfriendly! So what am I doing wrong?
This is where you need honest feedback from a job coach or the like. Maybe a "fake it till you make it" situation? Figure out what specific behaviors they're looking for and practice them, and incorporate them into your interviews. I don't see anything wrong with having a work persona, as long as it's not too much of a drain on you.
A good start might be asking people questions. People* like to talk about themselves and feel that someone cares. A compliment on a piece of clothing, and yes, even comments on the weather are good places to start. Uggh, I hope I'm not saying super obvious stuff. Apologies if you just wanted to vent and I'm problem-solving. It does seem ridiculous to me that they don't seem to want a calm, professional person, and would value perkiness above those qualities.
Okay, must get back to work.
* vast overgeneralization ahoy
omnis_audis - Jan 26, 2011 9:08:17 am PST #13980 of 30000
omnis, pursue. That's an order from a shy woman who can use M-16. - Shir
Being friendly is very important in Iowa. Grrrrrrrr.Somehow, my Fathers favorite phrase seems to work right now. "Fuck them if they can't take a joke". I was trying to think of something with cornholing, but apparently it's not in my repertoire this morning. Good luck!! Vibing for ya!
ION - today is the day of meetings. Started at 8:30, ends at 6. Off to meeting #2 of 5. :: sigh ::
Frankenbuddha - Jan 26, 2011 9:47:57 am PST #13981 of 30000
"We are the Goon Squad and we're coming to town...Beep! Beep!" - David Bowie, "Fashion"
Gah, Nora. I'm sorry the landlording has gone all pear-shaped. I wish I had been able to swing that mortgage, so that it was out of your hands, although it also sounds like I wouldn't be very happy with the neighbors. I hate to think of that place being trashed.