My mom and I figured out each others' taste in gifts about two years before she died. But those were two nice Christmases, gift-wise. Now my sister sends me very detailed lists for her family, and I send her lists with links to the exact items (including size and color, where relevant) for myself. If I don't like what I get nowadays, I have only myself to blame. I'm all for knowing a person and shopping for something that will meet their tastes and needs, but I only see the family a couple of times a year. That's decades in teenager fashion time or 20-something geek tech time.

Moral: I should have said what I DO like.

But that's actually really hard to do, and can be pretty restrictive. No hearts should not be that complicated an instruction for an adult. We're into learned helplessness territory here, and I'm not sure I'm down with that.

My mother has finally accepted that I actually don't like the color pink. Nearly 30 years, she's been insisting that I just say that I don't like it because I don't want to seem like a stereotypical girl. A few years ago, we were at a little shop, and they had some of those vanity sets with a mirror and brush and comb, made of pewter with little rhinestones embedded. I saw one with purple rhinestones and said, "oooh," and then noticed the one next to it with green rhinestones and said, "Oooooooh," and completely ignored the one with pink rhinestones. My mom saw and heard this, and she said, really surprised, "You really don't like pink, do you?"

I'm all for knowing a person and shopping for something that will meet their tastes and needs,

This is a common (or, if not common, at least a familiar) Buffista discussion. I have no problem with lists -- detailed or not -- from family members and even the spousal substitute, and I happily give them my annotated list.

For us, it's a matter of "Let me make you happy by giving you something that I know will make you happy."

I admire the people who shop without lists, and get gifts for their loved ones based on their tastes. I sort of feel like it's a skill (one that I don't have).

Skipped a huge backlog, sorry.

Came back from my trip to find my mom had cleaned/decluttered my room. This is huge. I was trying to psych myself up for doing it when I returned. It's such a load off my mind to have it done. Yay, Mom!

Thanks to JZ for making time to see me while I was bopping around the SF Bay Area. It was a pleasure seeing you and catching up on things JZ-like.

Wait a minute, Vortex, your mom is planning for thanksgiving now?? Did I read that right? That is nuts! And for only 20 people?

I admire the people who shop without lists, and get gifts for their loved ones based on their tastes. I sort of feel like it's a skill (one that I don't have).

Never, ever, EVAR shop for Pete without a list. EVAR.

However, he is excellent at finding presents for other people based on their tastes, and has never given me a "dud" present.

My family is big about lists but sometimes my parents will go off list and sometimes it gets interesting - I got some really odd sweaters from my dad when I was a teenager but then he'll do things like this Christmas. He gave me Rocky and Rocky II soundtracks - because of the first song- Gonna Fly Now - because of how proud of all the progress I've made and how I'm ready to really fly on my own.

Um, that's an ugly hoodie.

I KNOW!!

Hee.

I give Greg a list every year, and every year he buys off list because he wants to surprise me, and mostly I don't like it nearly so well as what was on the list, but he doesn't like buying from lists so... I buy things for myself and I tell him thank you for being so thoughtful, and I wear/use/consume whatever he bought.