{{[askye}}}

is there any way to convince a 14 yo girl to stay away from a senior boy who has a reputation several miles long known by every school teacher and administrator and most parents of upper class girls? my little sister is smitten. she has been repeatedly told to stay away from him. she's been forced to drop out of the drama class that they share and to drop out of the school musical in which she would have been sharing scenes with him. my father has (ill-advisedly) sent him vaguely worded threatening messages (not of physical violence, but to negatively affect his application to the naval academy.) yesterday a christmas gift from him arrived at the house, and the day before that a teacher separated the two of them canoodling on a sofa in the library at school. clearly parental intervention short of shipping her off to a boarding school is not working. What on earth can a (much older) half-sister on the other side of the country do to try and make her see sense? Reason stands no hope against these hormones. *sigh*

It sounds to me like they have created a romeo and Juliette situation. I wonder if it is too late to change the reaction? I don't imagine that it is easy, but maybe instead of enforced separation, limited supervised visitation?

from your end? can you suggest that true love has time -- and only really good behavior ( no canoodling on the library sofa) might convince your folks to change their mind?

Not really sure you can do much

Yeah, keeping them apart like that is probably the worst thing they can do!

...how bad can his reputation (er, possibly other than in re: girls) be, if he's hoping/expecting to get into the Naval Academy? That said, a reminder that her parents can and will prosecute him for statutory might be in order.

Peace to you and your family, askye.

My sympathies, askye.

What on earth can a (much older) half-sister on the other side of the country do to try and make her see sense? Reason stands no hope against these hormones. *sigh*

How close are you two?

askye, I'm sorry about your grandma.

smonster, that's terrible.

erin-o, hrm. That's a hard one. I'd go with the reminding him that it might be statutory, sitting down with her and filling her in on all the shitty stuff he's done to other girls (and possibly making her draw the sex exponents with his known partners -- you know, you're fucking everyone he's fucked, and all the people THEY'Ve fucked, and so on...) and showing her very detailed pix of veneral diseases.

Barring that, just keeping chill. Forbidden fruit is very tasty, especially for teenagers, but the more you are just matter-of-fact and make him less like delicious buttery goodness and more like congealed fat wrung from from a bovine boob, the better .

{{{askye}}}

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e_o: If the boy is wanting to get into the Naval Academy, maybe point out that with a statutory rape charge, he couldn't get in. And even though she wants, it doesn't matter, because the stupid laws don't respect rights of teenagers. But if she really loves him, and wants him to succeed, she needs to stay at arms length from him. Otherwise he will end up a short order cook/gas station attendant/ some other menial job that she would not want to be married to (no offense to those who work those jobs, just trying to sell it in the eyes of a teenager). Just twist the situation to protect HIM, and that she needs to make that sacrifice in the short term, for the long term benefit of their relationship.

What on earth can a (much older) half-sister on the other side of the country do to try and make her see sense? Reason stands no hope against these hormones. *sigh*

What Erin said. I'd also add that if she chooses to do this she likely is chosing to get hurt. Terribly. That you would rather see her initial sexual experiences be something that she looks back on fondly and not with regret. 'Cause she's probably getting hit with a whole lot of "NO! SEX! DIRTY! BAD!" and that can cause as much damage to her as the jerk boy.

Then have a very frank discussion about what birth control she intends to use if she continues to see this boy because sometimes we make bad choices and suffer painful consequences. These consequences can be painful incidents we move past or they can affect us for the rest of our lives.

Then have a very frank discussion about what birth control she intends to use if she continues to see this boy because sometimes we make bad choices and suffer painful consequences. These consequences can be painful incidents we move past or they can affect us for the rest of our lives.

Yeah--if you think there's any chance she'll sleep with him, I'd let someone else do the threatening and the "he'll mess you up!" and concentrate on being cool older sister who will make sure she's protected if she DOES go through...