Carolyn Hax (my favorite advice columnist) generally recommends calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799 SAFE -- they'll have advice.
River: You gave up everything you had. Simon: [Chinese] Everything I have is right here.
'Safe'
Natter 66: Get Your Kicks.
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, pandas, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Jesse - Jun 12, 2010 5:46:59 pm PDT #6234 of 30001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
sarameg - Jun 12, 2010 5:53:08 pm PDT #6235 of 30001
I need to get Loki a halter and a leash. (He bolted again and is now crying as if he's dying. I looked today, but they were out at petsmart.) He really likes being outside, but I want him within 5 ft of me.
Zenkitty - Jun 12, 2010 5:58:12 pm PDT #6236 of 30001
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
I am delighted, because the magazine was one of the ones I thought was lost forever.
Yay!
My friend G. is now giving me reasons why everything I suggest is not workable. Right down to, the phone company is not reliable, oh and her mother might call.
Steph L. - Jun 12, 2010 5:59:46 pm PDT #6237 of 30001
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine
I agree with do not engage at all, not one bit.
This. If he calls 100 times and she finally answers on the 101st call, it just "proves" to him that persistence works.
I agree with calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline and/or a shelter.
Jesse - Jun 12, 2010 6:00:05 pm PDT #6238 of 30001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
I really think your main suggestion should be to get expert advice.
msbelle - Jun 12, 2010 6:03:43 pm PDT #6239 of 30001
I remember the crazy days. 500 posts an hour. Nubmer! Natgbsb
5 more listings up on ebay. WHOOT!
If her mom calls she will leave a message. I have the ringer off on my phone and I still get messages! If she is really arguing against anything, then you can't do anything for her. If it would piss her off and maybe make her consider what you are saying, I would suggest that perhaps she likes the attention if she is unwilling to anything to thwart it. But you know, there's a risk in that.
sarameg - Jun 12, 2010 6:11:48 pm PDT #6240 of 30001
Tell your friend to call a shelter/hotline (I said local because they know the jurisdictional shit) NOW. They can get through her head if anyone can. And that's not complicated. And what msbelle said.
Zenkitty - Jun 12, 2010 6:12:41 pm PDT #6241 of 30001
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
I've told her not to engage. As long as she's still arguing with him, it's not over. I think that may have got through to her. Part of the problem is, she's still in love with him. She just can't deal with the alcoholism and the crazy self-destructive juvenile behavior and suddenly being the other woman. And I just found out, he's never introduced her to any of his friends or family. Seriously?
Daisy Jane - Jun 12, 2010 7:05:01 pm PDT #6242 of 30001
"This bar smells like kerosene and stripper tears."
Restraining order ASAP. Documantation. BTDT.
Strix - Jun 12, 2010 9:09:28 pm PDT #6243 of 30001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
As someone who's worked in two DV shelters, in multiple capacities, a restraining order will not work if the woman continues to communicate with a stalker/abuser; if she gets one, and then communicates with him, it could backfire on her if she needs to get another one, or if things ever escalate to the point where it goes to court, and the opposing counsel can bring up the fact that the woman got a restraining order, and then willingly continued social contact.
Just a thought.
She SHOULD keep a detailed log of any contact or attempts at contact he makes, including emails, messages, texts, calls, VM's and drive-by's. If she does decide on a restraining order, this will be valuable information.
Also, many states will help women file OPO's (orders or protection) 24 hours. I know; I used to be the one called out of bed to the courthouse at 0dark30 to file 'em.