I can still physically overpower mac, it is just that doing so is destructive to our relationship. I shouldn't really include myself in these parental strategy discussions. The hurt child/attachment issues world is an upside down one where opposite behaviors prevail.

So, the pickup artist thing is officially dead now that's it in the NYTimes, right? [link]

I suppose it's telling that I saw this story TWICE on Twitter this morning:

Technology use is rewiring our brains:

Scientists say juggling e-mail, phone calls and other incoming information can change how people think and behave. They say our ability to focus is being undermined by bursts of information.

These play to a primitive impulse to respond to immediate opportunities and threats. The stimulation provokes excitement — a dopamine squirt — that researchers say can be addictive. In its absence, people feel bored.

The resulting distractions can have deadly consequences, as when cellphone-wielding drivers and train engineers cause wrecks. And for millions of people like Mr. Campbell, these urges can inflict nicks and cuts on creativity and deep thought, interrupting work and family life.

While many people say multitasking makes them more productive, research shows otherwise. Heavy multitaskers actually have more trouble focusing and shutting out irrelevant information, scientists say, and they experience more stress.

Which usually results in a whiny "Pleeeeeeeeeeease may I have [whatever]???????" but at least it's a start.

HA! I think Dylan and Noah are sharing a brain. With N he'll say he word please in the most spiteful and angry tone and then he'll make his request and end it with a huffy, "I said PLEASE." The next lesson is please does not mean you automatically get your way.

I shouldn't really include myself in these parental strategy discussions.

Totally disagree. I think a lot of what you have to do in terms of parenting is a lot of what I end up wanting to do. Which is being less overpowering and more willing to wait until a kid gets there on his or her own. I know you are in a totally different situation and world, but many of the techniques you use sound familiar.

Relatedly, one of the things I've really learned lately is that being a parent is a constant lesson in the idea that my attachment to my own feelings is somewhat irrelevant. By that I mean, it's not particularly useful to express anger or super strong emotions because my 3-year-old does not really care so much. Or it's not useful to dealing with him. That's not to say I don't have boundaries, but it's more like, huh, he's not concerned with the fact that I want to stop the car right now and get out and walk down I-5 for a few miles without him.

The next lesson is please does not mean you automatically get your way.

Oh good lord THIS.

"I really like the way you asked politely, but the answer is still no."

"NOOOO!! THE ANSWER IS *YES*!!!!"

Hahahaha - DH just texted me from the doctor's office to say that Dylan is 638 inches tall. I really hope that's a typo.

[eta: It was. Actual height is 38 inches.]

Relatedly, one of the things I've really learned lately is that being a parent is a constant lesson in the idea that my attachment to my own feelings is somewhat irrelevant. By that I mean, it's not particularly useful to express anger or super strong emotions because my 3-year-old does not really care so much. Or it's not useful to dealing with him. That's not to say I don't have boundaries, but it's more like, huh, he's not concerned with the fact that I want to stop the car right now and get out and walk down I-5 for a few miles without him.

Yeah, that is so true with toddlers. With mac, he acts like a typical toddler a lot, but emotionally he is so different. He is actually HUGELY affected by my expressions of anger, he sees them as rejection and confirmation of his badness. So it's really not useful to get all worked up EXCEPT that it is useful to me to express what I am actually feeling. So I just have to do it not with him around. This is why I want a heavy bag. You know, as I continue to listen to my Wayne Dyer and work on not getting so angry anyway

Ya think Jessica? Mac is very excited because he is less than a foot shorter than me now. 55" that kid. Because one of his meds causes weight gain, he went from being in the red zone on the low end of weight for his height to being right in the middle of healthy weight for his height in one year. Truth is, that where he is now weight-wise is a little much for his frame.

Oh, Monday. I forgot my wallet and I didn't bring lunch.

Dylan is about the same height as my Dillo (who will be 4 in a month!). Dillo got the short genes in our family (he runs about 50-60%ile for height, but is on track to be shorter than his (5'11") mother and his (6'6") father. And his sister, probably.)