I knew how to smell the roses prior to a metric fuckload of misery. The misery just meant that I had to let the roses die. It made me who I am today, but I think I could have been a better person without it.

I often feel this way.

Oh, my dad used to say "God evens everything out in the end" as a way of telling me not to complain when things were unfair.

As an adult I resent him or saying that, because if anything I err on the side of being too passive when unfair stuff happens to me.

I am unclear, but I think the God doesn't give you more than you can handle thing is a misquote. I Corinithians 10:13 talks about not being tempted more than you can bear, but that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish than suffering. [link]

I think the God doesn't give you more than you can handle thing is a misquote

It doesn't matter if it's a misquote if that's what people actually mean to say.

"Special children to special parents"--there's a Mormon equivalent that says special needs kids were "spirit warriors" in the pre-existence and all they need in this life is a physical body to fill in the to-do list before they can go to heaven (a very inefficient system, to me, but what do I know). It's very comforting to some parents, I understand, but I know one couple with known genetic markers for unpleasant conditions who have decided that it is their responsibility to provide bodies for spirit warriors. They have about half a dozen special needs kids, and last I saw them, she was pregnant again and very proud.

No, right, people are definitely saying an unhelpful thing. But I'm adding that they're also wrong to what they think is their source. Probably.

One more hour and I get to strip more paint. Yay?

I just got called a moron on Twitter by a total stranger! Do I get an achievement badge or something?

(I'd said jokingly that as an atheist Jew, I would have ROCKED this Pew survey, which apparently was HILARIOUS because Jews can't be atheists, therefore I'm a moron. Nobody tell him about New York City, ok? I'd hate to think I'd inadvertently caused someone to die of shock.)

I dislike most platitudes. They're by definition annoyingly glib.

I am unclear, but I think the God doesn't give you more than you can handle thing is a misquote. I Corinithians 10:13 talks about not being tempted more than you can bear, but that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish than suffering.

Not exactly, the original Greek carries the meaning of suffering a trial (the root verb means "to pierce through"). I think you're right that it gets misread these days only to include suffering things that we regard negatively, by which I mean it doesn't get applied as naturally to being, for want of a better word, bribed into wrongdoing. (And I'm sure Paul regarded resisting such temptations as worthy of being deemed a trial.) However, I don't think it would be accurate either to read it as not talking about the trials of faith that arise from suffering (such as despair, rage, self-pity, what have you).

Now, I do think it gets misused. It was clearly intended by Paul to encourage people facing trials (whether of the ouch ouch make it stop variety, or the sexy funtimes this will go straight to your hips variety). I doubt he would've approved of people then judging how well others managed their grief/pain/rock'n'roller lifestyle. ("I give it an 8. Decent technique, a bit of flair, but shaky on the dismount.") The verse is relevant to the notion of divine judgment, however, insofar as such judgment becomes unjust if the subject were in fact unable to escape becoming a sinner. Given the tendency of people to judge t IRONY ALERT , it's not surprising this verse gets misused to look down on people who have been broken by suffering.

Another direction in which it gets poorly applied is by conflating it with a prosperity gospel, and here we really get to blame the victim. Because then, if you suffer some loss, and you don't actually bounce back but your life turns to crap thereafter, must be because you didn't maintain a positive attitude and treat it like the growth experience it was obviously meant to be.

It isn't a platitude, but I don't get it-it's the exception that proves the rule. How the fuck does that make any sense? Can we have some science up in this shit?