The only place I heard that was on Seinfeld.

I'd heard it before then. ISTR a series of paintings of lilies that illustrate how eyesight typically deteriorates with cataracts. I think that was Monet.

July and August in Georgia are so much like January and February in Maine (where I grew up) that it's funny. I am so tired of being inside!

I swear I get SAD during summers like these, because I can't spend more than 15 minutes outside at a time. It's very frustrating to the dog, whose philosophy is "inside bad, outside good."

On the list of things that suck when you live alone: moving mattresses. There was some dry rot around one of the bed rail attachments and a piece of wood broke off, causing a late-night rearrangement of sleeping arrangements and bits of Thurber's "The Night the Bed Fell" wandering through my brain all day.

I got my skates today. They fit and are fun! I've skated around the driveway.

I also talked to a reporter from the local paper about the derby.

Pardon me while I go all me me me here, but, anyone have any advice about how to make someone (whom I hired) stop being a brown-nosing little psycophant? I am just a total rage bomb right now, and I cannot seem to get it through his head to just back the fuck off. Today I actually had to say, "Whether or not I smile is on me, not you. You don't have that power or responsibility." Totally hurt his feelings, yet I totally don't care. He needs to stop. Problem is, he just annoys no matter what, but I have to find a way to work through it. Anyone been in a similar situation? I am at my wit's end. And a rage bomb.

Congrats on the skates!

With my kids it was teaching them to separate want from need.

Sadly, many adults seem to never have learned this.

With my kids it was teaching them to separate want from need.

Does anybody want this? I'm pretty sure no one needs a Mobile Watermelon Cooler.

Speaking of wants vs. needs, today I got my tickets to see Cyrano de Bergerac with Placido Domingo. (We weren't sure if we would get them or not because we're new subscribers and they weren't part of our series.)

I think having to move can help clarify the difference (for adults). Having to fit everything in a small place or pay to store it and/or having to hire people to move your stuff because you cannot physically do it yourself can help to make clear what you need vs. what you want. Also - having to sell the stuff you're not taking with you and seeing how little $$ you get for it and how much you need to donate or give away because you can't sell also illustrates how much unnecessary stuff we accumulate.

Predict the Future Using Your Fingernails (and other weird methods)

Another thing cats are good for:

Ailuromancy or felidomancy. Simply observe the way your cat moves or jumps to determine the future – especially weather. A black cat crossing your path being a bad omen is an old piece of ailuromancy. Did your cat lick her ears three times? Company must be on the way. Right ear? It’s a gentleman caller. Left ear? Expect a lady.

...

Onychomancy. Believe it or not, your fingernails are very powerful. Fingernail clippings were once used in spells, healing rituals and superstitions. In fact, many of the superstitions are still floating around out there – Japanese girls are told that biting their fingernails will result in a difficult childbirth later on down the line. The white spots on your fingernails are supposed to be a sign of good fortune – a spot on thumb specifically means that a gift is about to be bestowed upon you. Greedy people are said to have crooked fingernails, and the half-moon shape (“lunula”) at the base of the nail indicates your lifeline – the bigger the lunula, the longer your life will last. Ever bend your nail back? Bad news: not only did it probably make you use a few choice words, it also means there’s a difficult time ahead of you and it could last for a couple of months.

I've heard a white spot on your fingernail means you told a lie....