I had to tell a personal trainer once not to encourage me anymore. Because when I said I was done, I was done. He was taken aback. But I'm serious. The gym is not where I break through my barriers. Martial arts, sure. But that's a whole different vibe. When I put the pedal to the metal, I am pretty aware of my limits.

Best trainer I had was a friend of mine, which I didn't really expect. But she knew how to motivate me--she could compliment me without being sugary. And she knew I was already serious--and how much to taunt someone who was teaching you krav. Which is, really, not much.

I respond really poorly to any rah-rah encouragement in almost any situation. I glared at the nurses while in labor. Don't talk to me. Just let me do my thing. And dear god don't call me "Mama" when you're not my offspring.

Because when I said I was done, I was done.

Yes, that too - I told him, okay, that's enough, and he's all, just give me two more! So I did, the first couple times, and then I just stopped when I needed to. I don't care if he thought I was giving up. (Also? I'm not giving you anything. I hate that. I'm not here doing this for you.)

And dear god don't call me "Mama" when you're not my offspring.

Oh, yeah. That calls for a punch to the face.

But it's possible I'm just extra cranky today.

Also, Matilda is hysterically funny, but y'all knew that.

Am I not beautiful? I'm wearing my princess veil, and my princess crown, and my princess gloves, and my princess dress, and my princess shoes, and this is my princess knife!

javacat, are you looking for more NCIS fanfic recs? 'Cause I've got a funny one that I was avoiding because I just knew it wouldn't work, but it's terrific.

Forsooth, Good Gentles. Yes, NCIS goes RenFaire, and it's hilarious! Done by the same author who wrote my favorite Echoes of Goodbye. As a small sample:

"A RenFaire? You have a team waiting outside of a RenFaire?" Fornell was already picturing Gibbs sitting in a van, glaring at the participants.

It took all of his training to keep a straight face, but he was a Director, after all. "Not outside."

"Not outside? You mean... Gibbs in tights?"

Vance let the slightest smile break through. "The mind, it doth boggle."

Am I not beautiful? I'm wearing my princess veil, and my princess crown, and my princess gloves, and my princess dress, and my princess shoes, and this is my princess knife!

The best part was that after calling her stick her "Princess knife" (or "sword") for hours, I said, as she was packing to leave, "Oh look, Matilda, here's your Princess knife, don't forget it!"

To which she looked up at me, grimaced and said, "that's a stick!!"

To which she looked up at me, grimaced and said, "that's a stick!!"

Grown-ups are so dumb. @@

Perhaps it's because of my focus, but exercise makes me cheerfully homicidal. Rah rah takes the cheer out of the equation.

Of course, I can barely take compliments too. They have to be absolute. Being better than you expected just makes me think you're a moron. And I don't want to be trained by a moron.

That having been said, I was a selectively rah rah instructor and improv critiquer-and got shit from people who thought everyone should be taught the same. So there's little winning to be had.

Matilda is the bestest.

Zen, yeah. Crossfit, from what I hear, is big into rah rah and nsm into creature comforts. Very bare bones and shit. That's why I told you to trust your body, Crossfit trainers only have to do a weekend's thingy to get certified.