Purity Balls Feature Lessons On 'Appropriate' Dance Moves (PHOTOS)

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Jeiel Ballard and his girlfriend, both 16, are dressed up in their best attire, ready for a night of dancing and fun.

But there will be no close embraces or risque moves to test chaperones on the dance floor. The "purity ball" sponsored by their Seventh-day Adventist Church will feature a vow to abstain from sex until marriage and offer tips on "appropriate" touching between the sexes.

"It's tough, but when you have sex at an early age it can become addictive," Ballard said. "And when you get addicted ... it can lead you down the wrong path."

...

A dance instructor at the purity ball showed "how a woman should be touched, how a man should be touched" without being sexual, Polite said.

"It doesn't have to be any of the dirty bumping and grinding," said James Brothers, an instructor at Dance World of Nashville. "It's just a great way to express yourself and really enjoy it, while still being classy at the same time."

Stay classy, purity-ballers!

Ha. So they say.

That does seem unlikely.

Joan of Arc 'Relics' Confirmed to Be Fake

The so-called "relics of Joan of Arc," overseen by the Archbishop of Tours in Chinon, France, do not contain the charred remains of the Catholic saint.

Rather, the artifacts consist of a mummified cat leg bone and human rib, both dating to the 6th-3rd century B.C., according to a new study.

Oh well.

Possibly stating the obvious here, but fuck suicide. I just learned that someone I knew in the local goth scene ended his life last night. And none of us had any inkling he was feeling this way.

(To set people's minds at ease, he was no one any of you ever met.)

I'm so sorry, Jilli.

I'm sorry Jilli. Sometimes it does not follow long time depression, but strikes like lightning.

Oh no, Jilli. How terrible.

Stay classy, purity-ballers!

I'm guessing the Christian Side-Hug is big in that crowd...

Jilli, I'm so sorry. Suicide is a terrible thing, and it's easy for people to feel like they should have known - but so many people don't show any signs.

I'm sorry, Jilli.