SEND MORE CHUCK BERRY.

Leif has drew on many things with crayons. Taken out a TV. Taken out a bookshelf. Put a couple holes in the wall. Made some remarkable messes with lotion. Damaged a sofa. Destroyed mini-blinds. Spilled paint on the carpet. There's probably been some other stuff I've forgotten.

Emaryn has poured some maple syrup on the carpet. That's about it.

It took constant vigilance to keep Emmett from ruining stuff in his toddler years. But we did. Except for my Buffy figures. He ruined all those. And in a scene mirrored in Matt Groening's Will & Abe cartoons, he was hell on pop-up books. If there was quiet in the house for more than a minute then I knew he was up to something.

I can't imagine leaving a 3 y.o. alone in the bathroom long enough to fill the tub to overflowing.

Can I get a round of FUCK CANCER?

My previous assistant L, who has fought cancer for the last 5 or so years, passed away on Monday. I just got the news and am so incredibly sad. I just want to go home and weep.

FUCK CANCER. With a rusty sword.

things I could have taken pictures of had I known about that site:

family portrait, my Christmas, a book, my bank balance, a shirt, his raincoat

We had some baby powder accidents. Crayon on the walls. Sara used to love to take every CD out of the cabinet as a toddler. Jake did the same with books, so a lot of dust jackets bought it. But none of them ever did any major damage.

Yes and No, Zenkitty. Noah is rarely unattended. But he did put an ID card into my CD-ROM drive on my laptop that I found when I was at work. AND he got a richly deserved talking too for that one.

Dylan went through a phase where he was shredding any paper he could get his hands on (books, newspapers, magazines). Thankfully he seems to have grown out of it.

We only buy washable crayons and markers (and keep the Sharpies on a high shelf), have eggshell finish paints on all our walls, and both our couches are black, so it would be a challenge for him to really destroy anything by drawing on it.

I can't imagine leaving a 3 y.o. alone in the bathroom long enough to fill the tub to overflowing.

I've done it. The sink makes a good water table in a 4th-floor walk up.

[eta:

Sara used to love to take every CD out of the cabinet as a toddler.

Oh yes, this! Dylan used to stand next to the DVD cabinet and methodically empty every single shelf until he was sitting on a pile of DVDs bigger than he was. But we let him do it because it wasn't really destructive, and it was pretty easy to clean up afterwards.]

I feel like we did well just keeping Leif from getting damaged.

For all of that, Leif is actually the easier kid. He's always happy. There's a lot of emotional drama with Em though she can be the absolutely sweetest kid in the world.

Last night I dreamed I had a NORMAL DAY AT WORK.

WORST. DREAM. EVER.

Hahaha! These are my dreams always. I have the world's most mundane dreams. The worst of which was standing in line at the post office. That was it. The whole dream, standing in line. I never even got to the front of the line to buy my stamps or whatever. Total waste of dreamspace. Sometimes I dream doing the dishes, which is worse, because then I wake up and still have to do the dishes.

But last night I had a dream where some guy was being an ass about his gun and he handed it to me and I unloaded it and made snarky comments at him. So clearly I'm still thinking about guns.

(xposting)

WHICH REMINDS ME! I never gave you guys the full rundown on the completely awesome Becoming an Outdoorswoman weekend I attended last month. It was so great, you guys!

The women there were just amazing; ran the gamut from 17 (technically not allowed, the daughter of one of the instructors) to 73! Every race, every income level. It was totally inspiring.

And the instructors were fantastic, too. They presented material in such an accessible way, never talking down or belittling fears, but also never letting you just back down, encouraging, supporting. And they had mad skilz too; I met a woman who works for the DHS at a high level; she was one of the original air marshals. There was a guy with a doctorate teaching stillwater paddling. It was amazing.

Anyway! Day 1, I took basic firearm safety, a prerequisite. I know some people found it boring, but I love that kind of stuff. And furthermore, the female instructor gave lots of good practical information, including stuff about how to select a firearm. Like, what to look for if you have small hands! Something I'd never have gotten at any other class. And I have super small hands! So that was helpful.

Then there were some talks, including one with raptors! I love raptors. And then a mixer, with prickly pear margaritas! Which were shockingly pink, and also very good. Late night fly tying. During the day, I totally made friends with two women who were also first-timers, there by themselves. For an unsocial person like me, this was a pretty big deal, but it was easy because we all had common interests.

The next day I didn't think I was going to get to shoot, but one of the women I'd met early totally got wasted the previous night and was still hungover and didn't think she was fit to shoot. Well, the shooting classes were one on one instructors, so I asked if I could step in to her slot.

It was handguns! So I shot a Taurus .22 revolver, a Beretta .22 semiautomatic, a Colt King Cobra .38 special, a SigSauer P229 .40 semiautomatic, and the same Sig P229 in 9mm. It was so much fun. And the boss lady took an awesome over-the-shoulder photo of me.

That afternoon I took a dutch oven cooking class. We made cinnamon rolls, beef stew, cornbread, and peach cobbler. So good, oh my gravy, and so easy.

More fly tying that night, plus follies which were dumb, but funny. Oh, and they gave me a birding by ear book because I and another woman had turned up for the birdwalk that morning which turned out to have been cancelled. Oops.

Day three I took stillwater paddling, which was the class I loved beyond all reason and think I will probably pursue. The instructors were our mealtime tablemates, so we were already at ease with them, and they were great. Turns out I'd been doing it wrong all this time, and when done correctly, doesn't burn out my arms. It's all in the abs. My friend I made and I took this one together, so it was just total fun the whole time. Such a great way to end the weekend.

And then we got lost leaving, all three of us together. Hee. Classic. But we got it worked out and have been in touch since. And now I'm in the market for a cheap used kayak. I have $110 saved, goal of $400.

So much fun, for serious. I felt confirmed in my identity as a woman, not to overstate it. But I really felt like, wow, I don't have to give up these (continued...)