Holy moley!

Turns out I'm not half as accident prone as I thought.

I counted up my injuries and surgeries, but came up with only 6, three of which didn't even leave scars!

eta: Oh right! Adding being thrown 4 feet against a fence by an electric shock from a pool filter thingy. Being attacked by Nubian goats (they are organized, don't turn your back on them!). And falling about 15 feet off a boat, onto concrete.

But none of them left actual scars.

etaa: Second degree burn...still no scar.

The very worst of all these? No lie, the stingray strike. Worst pain I have ever felt, or even hope to. Goose flesh just thinking about it, some 15 years later!

I don't think bubblewrap is going to be enough for you, Ginger.

The first step will to be to remove everything sharp or hot from your house.

Notable scars:

• Chicken pox, age 6, scar on ribs from massive pox
  
• Repeated shaving injury, between 13 and 23 (stopped shaving legs then), right knee.
  
• Attempted mugging, age 19, scar in middle of forehead from a plastic plant stake.
  
• Pretty much invisible scar (thank you mr. plastic surgeon) under right lashline from blowout fracture, age 22.
  
• Various mole removals, all benign, on right hip, left hand, by right ear, and where sun don't shine.
  
• Not a scar, but my highest count of bruises from rugby was 42 at one time, including IIRC distinguishable cleat marks on my thigh and one entirely purple ass cheek from getting tackled at a party. She was flirting.

The worst pain I ever fault was probably getting the inside of my nose cauterized. But jellyfish was pretty bad. Like bee sting bad but long strands of bee sting hurt all up and down my legs.

All of my scars are surgical.

Being attacked by Nubian goats

This ranks up there with "electric shock from Alfredo sauce" on the WTFery scale.

All of my scars are surgical.

None of my scars are surgical!

I had an eye-shaped scar on my left arm from when I tried to make oatmeal for myself in 2nd grade and burnt myself with the steam instead. It faded after15-20 years, I guess. Can't find it now.

I do have a dent in my foot from where a catfish whisker stuck me, but you have to know it's there to see it.

The two surgeries I've had have left noticeable scars, but other than that the only ones with any staying power have been from the fall where I sheared all the skin off my knee a few years ago (palm scars from that same incident have disappeared) and, weirdly, from a batik wax spill on my hand back in HS. Which has somehow lasted longer than the 2nd degree burn scars from a bunsen burner prank in college where I yanked my arm back through a meter-high column of flame.

The alfredo sauce story: I was in college. I heated up some frozen fettuccine alfredo in my microwave. As I was taking it out of the microwave, my hand slipped and I lost my grip on the plastic tray thing, and it all went tumbling to the floor. I sighed, grabbed some paper towels, and started to clean it up. Or, at least, I tried to, because the second my hand with the towels hit the puddle of sauce and noodles, I felt a zappy burning in my hand. When I pulled my hand back, there was a zig-zag red mark across my palm. I looked more closely, and I realized that the puddle of sauce had spread over an empty outlet on an extension cord, and the sauce had conducted the electricity through the puddle and into my hand.