Baked kale chips are pretty good, too. Garlic, olive oil, salt, 10 minutes in the oven. (ETA: inevitable kale x-post!)

I still have all the savings bonds I got when I was wee. I used the Treasury's savings bond calculator to figure out their final maturity.

That sounds really good, Sue.

My soup is done. Good, but it could be better. It's semi-pureed, because my immersion blender isn't strong enough to puree even cooked kale, it seems, and I didn't feel like messing around with transferring it to the regular food processor.

Okay, you asked for it. I finally sat down and started trying to distill my thoughts about the past year and all the changes.

It turned out to be a more massive brain dump than anticipated, because I found I really couldn't tell the story without putting it into some of the context of what was happening to me at that time. But I promised someone just this morning to try to stop living in my own head so much and keeping so much inside, so I guess the timing was right. Because it went a little long, I decided to throw it up on my somewhat abortive attempt at a food blog. (Maybe this will inspire me to start doing that again!)

How we got here.

Part two, now with less depressing.

The second part is really the food stuff, so you're all more than welcome to skip to that if you want. And comments or questions here or there - I'm not shy.

Also, kale! I second the crispy kale rec - I do it with all kinds of greens. I also like to sautee various greens with garlic and onion, then throw in some salt and pepper, a pinch of sugar, and some cider vinegar or sherry (or both!) and let steam for a few minutes. Nom.

Thanks for sharing that Brenda.

brenda, I'm so sorry you went through that. Thanks for sharing, though -- that's really an inspiration for me to start eating some new and different vegetables.

Wow, Brenda, you're my hero when it comes to vegetables. I eat far more of them than I ever have, and I've cut my sugar, fat, and protein intake by half or more.

It's odd--even whole grains like cereal or oatmeal send my blood sugar up, while bacon and eggs keeps it level. But then my cholesterol aims for the sky. It's always a balancing act.

I've always felt vegetables were basically a waste of time and energy. To me they're not "food", not really. Food is protein and fat, not much of either, but it's the basis of my concept of "food". Carbs are next, in complex whole grains, but I have to be careful because they convert quickly to glucose. Fruits and all other sweets are used only sparingly. They're not really necessary, and do more harm than good. And vegetables are just filler.

I've always had the (completely wrong!) notion that veg have no food value. They're certainly not filling. They take an enormous boring amount of time to shop for, store, use before they rot on you, and prepare. And after all that trouble what have you got? Vegetables, yay (not). It takes too much time and energy to bite chew and swallow something that rewards that effort so little.

So basically, I've always been: I can eat less of what I like. I can eat none of what I like, as long as I don't have to also eat what I hate. It's just always felt so punitive to have to give up every single thing that ever tasted "good" to me, and force myself to chew and swallow things that don't taste good, things that bore me, things that turn eating into a chore I'd rather not have to think about or bother with.

I have always had--and still have--a reallyreally bad adversarial relationship with food. And reading your blog posts are encouraging and inspirational. Maybe there's hope for me. So thank you.

To rescue this from being a completely mememe post, I do want to say that I'm impressed with the determination and courage with which you attacked the things in your life that you felt were wrong. And the inspiration and willingness to listen to and follow your intuition you used to find a path that works for you. I'm happy that you feel better, and I'm glad you're healthier, in more ways than one. You're a fantastic role model.

Thanks for posting that, brenda. Your food choices are resembling mine over the last year, and I find that encouraging. I've cut back on the meat but I probably should cut back even more, and I hope the CSA share will force me to do that.

I've been looking for shelf stable non-cow milk, so I'll be giving Almond Breeze a try.

I've always felt vegetables were basically a waste of time and energy. To me they're not "food", not really.

Bev, this is not so far from where I started off. I had to really force myself to change that mindset. But it really was not nearly as hard as way more satisfying than I thought it would be. I still have to push myself sometimes (and the CSA totally helps with that!) but it's really changed my whole perspective.

And like I said, I haven't given up anything. I'll stop at McD's at the airport or train station, or I'll have a crab rangoon with my lunch or order the steak frites out at a restaurant. But it's the day to day stuff that's changed so dramatically, and it really becomes second nature after a while.

By contrast, when I was starting to think about what to write, I took a look at an lj my sister and I started up to track/encourage our diets a few years back. Here's a couple of days worth of food posts:

3/15 - 22+2

Having a much harder time of it today - I think tonight is going to be rough.

2 waffles - 3 pts

small banana - 2 pts

carrots - 1 pt

subway turkey sub, no cheese - 5 or 6, can't remember

goldfish - 3 pts

yogurt - 1 pt

popcorn - 1 pt

another yogurt - 1 pt

WW meal - 4 pts yay!

piece of toast, probably too much butter. Still calling it 2

3/16

waffle, ww yogurt - 3 pts

ww meal - 6 pts

goldfish - 3 pts

banana - 3 pts

CRAP! Chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen. I had 2. 5 pts. (C'mon, they're weren't very big.)

Most of a bottle of not very good wine (not the new fave, H, something else)

2 pieces toast

3/17

Donut day at work! Fortunately, by the time I got here there was only one left of the kind I like. 4 pts.

Spoke too soon. Add another half-donut. 2 pts.

Um, yeah. Three Guiness lunch at a cajun joint, gumbo and a 1/2 BLFriedGreenT sandwich. That officially ends the count for today.

Who could live like that?

Thanks for those posts, brenda! I'm just starting this process after meeting with the dietician on Thursday and I'm hoping we can develop habits that really do become second nature.

My relationship with veggies is very much Beverly's. I want it to be different.

I can't believe I typed "meating." Oy. In a post about veggies.