What if they say No to a counter offer? Would he take the job anyway?

I don't know, it might also depend on the attitude behind the negotiations as well as the outcome. We could certainly walk away, no one's quit their current jobs yet (as much as we might want to) and there are some local opportunities on the horizon.

Nora, don't be surprised if they can't flex too much on PTO.

At the large multi-city and -industry company Tom currently works at, he was able to negotiate for an extra week of vacation successfully, so while I understand the slipperiness of the back end of these things as you describe, it is still possible, I hope.

But if it doesn't work out, and he's respectful in asking and they're respectful about answering, then it doesn't hurt to ask. I imagine coming back with the lower salary they are expecting some attempts at negotiation at least.

Thanks, everyone, for your feedback, congratulations, and suggestions. This is such a new big deal for us (we don't make giant leaps/moves like this into the unknown!!) that having a place to talk about this stuff and get wisdom on the very diverse background of y'all is INFINITELY valuable. I can't overstate that.

Also: Happy Birthday Noise Design!

Happy birthday ND!

When I was in the UK I was teased about American's eating ketchup on everything, oh hah hah hah. Then I tasted their ketchup (which I had to pay 5p a pack for. the fuck?) and understood why I was being mocked - their ketchup tasted like crap. No WONDER they thought we were nuts, they don't know from ketchup.

I'm just surprised you guys aren't eating your fries with peanut butter.

There's a hilarious potty-training conversation going on now on the Manic Mommies forums, started by a woman who, on the recommendation of their ped, was using a "poop in the potty x times in a row and you can earn a [big prize]" method to get her son to stop asking for a pull-up every time he had to go. Unfortunately her son now refuses to go in the potty unless he thinks he's going to get paid for it. The money quote was "I'm going to poop for that Lego truck." D'oh!

(After a few days of commisseratory bitching and venting, the consensus was just stop giving him pull-ups and let him deal with the consequences. Since at this point it's pretty clearly stubbornness and not physical unreadiness.)

Happy birthday, ND!

Great interview, Juliebird!

My morning is not off to a good start. First I left my cast iron skillet on the stove all night. For once I am glad to have an electric stove! Then I cut my finger while cutting a suspicious area off some cheese. Because I am stupid. And it's rainy.

But OK! From here on out, my day will be better!

At the tenth, I got roofied, so I wasn't really feeling nostalgic.

Yikes, Cass, that's AWFUL. not likely to happen at my all-girls high school reunion, thank god. I am waffling. It's a lot of money for a weekend. I think if it weren't so expensive, if we weren't being furloughed for a week in the next two months and if I didn't have to work both friday and monday, getting paid only half-days for those days if I take them off in spite of the fact that NONE of my students will be there, then it would be more appealing. But as it is, It'll cost me $1000.

(After a few days of commisseratory bitching and venting, the consensus was just stop giving him pull-ups and let him deal with the consequences. Since at this point it's pretty clearly stubbornness and not physical unreadiness.)

This is pretty much what we have done. We do naptime pullups. But those will have to stop soon. I think pullups just encourage him to be confused. Then again, we are on month 6 of potty training so take that with a grain of salt.

Kat, I would sadly miss the reunion. I missed the last one my school hosted and was still able to connect with lots of people as a result of the various emails circulated afterwards with pictures and memories.

I hate my new office. just saying.

At the tenth, I got roofied, so I wasn't really feeling nostalgic.

Wow! That sucks.

Happy Birthday NoiseDesign!

I have never gone to a reunion, but I am pretty sure that ours are neither fancy nor expensive. Like they are in a pavilion at the village park, with maybe a trip to the local hamburger stand! Our town was/is not very fancy.

I also have a question regarding "Administrative Professionals" (formerly Secretary's ) Day. They are having a luncheon for us, but they are using "Administrative Professionals" to mean all people who are staff, not professors. So IT and Admissions and research nurses are also being considered "Administrative Professionals", and I was thinking that they might be insulted. Or that it is weird.

I'd say that it's nice to be recognized for something positive, no matter what it's called.

At the tenth, I got roofied, so I wasn't really feeling nostalgic.

Meant to say, oh my lord. I am so glad, Cass, that you had good friends there to take care of you and keep you from harm.