Hearts.

Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.

Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

eta: It's obvious this is fake, right?

Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.

New punctuation marks.

Speaking of which -- why in 2010 can't all browsers render all punctuation marks at all times? Why is this still an issue? A dash should not break things!

Oh good heavens. Puberty hit my daughter today.

On April Fool's.

How utterly appropriate.

What browser and what mark, bon? That sounds like an app weakness.

ita, hope this recovery isn't as grueling.

So, got word on some significant reordering at work. New boss is going to be the person I replaced, plus they're moving back into the group someone I work with closely as my contractor boss. All in all, probably the least disruptive for us change, though I think there might be some ruffled feathers from the groups getting left. (Both women are great to work with/for.)

What's funny is that I went to lunch with the lot of them just before the message was sent out and was lamenting to them about my boss retiring and not knowing who would replace him. I had no idea the new boss would be interested in being that!

Barb, if it's any consolation, in the future when a doctor asks when she started, it'll be a memorable date.

Barb, if it's any consolation, in the future when a doctor asks when she started, it'll be a memorable date.

Provided they believe me!

Speaking of which -- why in 2010 can't all browsers render all punctuation marks at all times? Why is this still an issue? A dash should not break things!

Where's the dash coming from? If it's from somewhere outside of the standards set by ISO, that'd be why.

Laziness and ignorance on the part of web developers, combined with overly complicated, esoteric rules about how browsers choose the character set, and a lot of legacy tools that don't work properly.