I've been to a lot more gay bars than straight ones, but that's because in my 20's and 30's when I was going to bars more than I do now, it was with gay men. Go figure.

O RLY?

Right?

her comment was "what's below it is a gift."

It's her flower to give away to that special someone.

It's her flower to give away to that special someone.

Yeah. Funny thing is, she's a super cool woman. Dresses a bit like JZ with a smashing retro sense. Think red lips, dark hair, lots of style. I like her. It's just so funny.

ETA: I just can't help but wonder what I'd think if I were to have sex with someone who thought that providing me their naughty bits was akin to giving me a gift.

I'm trying to figure out what do do regarding writing.

The publishing industry is killing me, and though I handed in Sam several months ago, I've been told that I once again have to wait for a couple of publishers to get back to me. I have been hearing over and over that I will have an answer "tomorrow." But then tomorrow is extended to next month.

The thing is, I am having trouble sleeping. I can't focus, I am a miserable person. My work is suffering. My own writing is suffering.

I think this is too stressful for me. I could self-publish through Lulu, and have a book in my hands. My agent thinks this is foolish, that we haven't exhausted all possibilities, and until we do, I'm just "giving up."

I completely understand what she's saying.

I just don't think I have the stomach for the industry. I'm angry about it, but I also feel a bit humiliated.

I keep wondering what it is about having a publisher acquire my work that makes it seem so much more legitimate than just publishing myself on Lulu. And I think it's mostly the feeling of having my work validated by a professional who is willing to put their money into something I created. It's very validating to see my name on the spine of a book in a Barnes & Noble.

If I could free myself of that need, this decision would be a lot easier.

Do I ask my agent to pull the manuscript so I can just Lulu the thing, or suffer for another month (or two, or three, or whenever someone can get to it) for that feeling of validation and a maybe a grand or so in my pocket?

I needed to vent and try and get out of this horrible numb feeling, so thanks.

what I'd think if I were to have sex with someone who thought that providing me their naughty bits was akin to giving me a gift.

"Do I need a receipt to return this?"

Allyson, it seems premature to pull the book from people who already have it. Maybe wait until you have an answer from those couple of publisher, and then decide?

I just can't help but wonder what I'd think if I were to have sex with someone who thought that providing me their naughty bits was akin to giving me a gift.

I'm not sure I could deal with it. I'm still operating on the assumption I've never taken anyone's virginity. I don't want the responsibility.

Do I ask my agent to pull the manuscript so I can just Lulu the thing, or suffer for another month (or two, or three, or whenever someone can get to it) for that feeling of validation and a maybe a grand or so in my pocket?

It depends what you want out of going the Lulu route, Allyson. If you really want to sell books, it's not going to be easy that way.

Also, you have to try and remember that having publishers say no says nothing about *you*. It could mean as little as they don't know how to publish the Sam book well, not that it's bad, or that you're bad. Not at all.

I always use the baseball metaphor. There are only so many teams and so many players needed. Not everyone gets to play, depending on timing and circumstance, and it sucks, but it is what it is. Publishing is as much about luck sometimes as anything else.

Oh dear, javachick.

I can;t decide which thread this should go in, but Alton Brown is the commencement speaker at UGA this spring! (He went here.) Several people I know are already plotting to become close friends with a senior in the next 6 weeks.