OK, here's my conspiracy theory:
Are you kidding me? Harry and Pepper breaking up was a total sham! Think about it! Everyone knows that penguins mate for life. And have you noticed that vast rightwing conspiracy has started to act very strangely? They obviously don’t want this story getting out. I mean, what would happen if people began asking Is Linda really a female? Well, they may be able to fool the sheeple, but the members of Gay Penguin Alliance aren't swallowing their story. Look, don’t take it from me; W C Fields is convinced as well. But we have to act fast, because they might launch a war to distract us. I just wanted you to be aware of this, in case I disappear.
want me to prank call her for the rest of the day?
Yes!
Also, I have a lot of work to do, and I don't wanna.
Just regular Viagra spam, but the "sender" was "Gus." Just funny timing.
NOT COOL, PLANET EARTH:
Chile quake = shorter days
The massive earthquake that struck Chile on Saturday may have shifted the Earth's axis and created shorter days, scientists at NASA say.
The change is negligible, but permanent: Each day should be 1.26 microseconds shorter, according to preliminary calculations. A microsecond is one-millionth of a second.
Chile quake = shorter days
Huh. That'll make the moon move away from Earth faster.
But in the long term, the trend is for days to get longer. A long long long long time ago, a day was about 8 hours, and the moon was huge (cuz it was much closer).
The End times are near(er).
Petition to make "Hella" the prefix for 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Carl sez, "A petition to make Hella- the official SI prefix for 10^27, for measuring things bigger than Yotta- (the prefix for (US) billion trillion). For instance: 'the sun (mass of 2.2 hellatons) would release energy at 0.3 hellawatts.' It would also come in handy for eventually measuring Internet traffic and US national debt."
Color for my new livingroom, I think, Deep Ocean. This pleases me.
The seller has not gotten back to us after we submitted our request for items post inspection. This does not please me.
My hometown is now Google, Kansas.
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