Aw, lisah-- so much ~ma for you and bob.

Epic, insent (as I can't find you on FB!)

Erin, added.

Very many thoughts and much ~ma to lisah and bob.

Much ~ma to Bob and lisah.

thank you all so much.

Oh shit, lisah, I'm very sorry. I immediately thought of Harvey Pekar's Our Cancer Year. I'm shooting sapphire bullets of pure love at his ill-bits.

Laura, that's so stressful. The not-knowing world of unclear diagnosis just sucks.

Erin, everything in the exciting world of quilt-work families is up for definition. That is, it is what people make of it. You might need to set aside your expectation for what an ex's role should be in your guy's life. It's not you and your husband with his son moving into the orbit occasionally. He's always going to have responsibilities with co-parenting that work best if you can extend yourself too. Or not. It's up to you, and you can certainly set boundaries.

I hope that doesn't sound critical. I just see you keep bouncing off some of those expectation and I don't think you want to only be in the role of Dad's New Girlfriend/Wife. I feel like maybe you see your (soon to be) stepson's mother as The Regrettable Mistake, or The Woman Who Hurt Your Man (and is totally unreasonable!). She's your stepson's mother and that's valuable to you.

{{Laura & Bobby}} I hope they figure out what it is, that it's nothing serious and that Bobby's back in the pink soon.

Ugh. I just realized my first real snowpocalypse issue - I'm almost out of tampons. If nothing's open tomorrow, I'm going to have a problem. I have a few friends in the complex that I can ask if I have to, luckily.

David, I'm not seeing her as totally unreasonable -- I've been trying to be pretty objective about it, and still do. And I want very much, and I think we have a pretty good basis for having a workable relationship as...not co-parents, but you know what I mean.

I don't think it's bad or unreasonable, that although I want to be pleasant and friendly with her, I don't want to be her friend. It was just that this was a kinda weird request to me; it'd be different if her sister was someone that we, or that D. was still close to, but it's a fairly loose relationship.

I am still..."struggling" isn't the precise word I want; it's too fraught...trying to adjust, which I think will be, of course, a process. We have different personalities -- she's very concerned with appearances and is very controlling (this is based on my observations, with me trying very hard to be unbiased, which I can do -- I can be pretty logical and cold) and I don't give a flipping shit about people's opinions, except for people I'm close to, and resent -- highly -- being controlled or told what I should do, think or feel. D. very much dislikes conflict, and she has stated that she thrives on it.

I don't thrive on it -- I kinda hate it -- but I am the type that looks for a compromise, but if I am being pushed into something that goes beyond my set goals or my level of comfort, then I won't back down.

Also, this is weird to me, because it doesn't really have anything to do with M; she has a hostile relationship with her sister, and I don't see it as my place or responsibility to prepare and deliver a meal to my fiance's ex-sister-in-law, so that my finace's ex can feel like she's being a good sister.

But like you said, David, quilt families (I like that term) are Le Weird. Like always, I am using the Buffy Board and a sounding board. I can get my petty and eyerolling out here, and then be reasonable and logical other places.

It was just that this was a kinda weird request to me; it'd be different if her sister was someone that we, or that D. was still close to, but it's a fairly loose relationship.

Erin, I think it's weird, too. It would be like my dad asking my stepdad to go visit my uncle in the hospital. It's kind of...random.

Happy to be a sounding Board. And, yes, that does seem odd.