I'm seeing a discordance between these two statements.

So did she. Really? Not wanting to do something means I'm not polite? I can't be polite unless I'm "ma'am"ing and "sir"ing everyone? No one but my grandmother and my headmaster ever thought I was impolite.

On this morning's edition of Wake Up and Procrastinate with Stephen Fry, Alan Davies is in the big chair on QI [link]

I bet I would do that. Mostly because I would want to spell your name out in my head in some weird way as if asking the longer name would give me a clue. Ridic.

It might be the migraine making my brain not work well, so I have to ask -- give you a clue as to what?

I think she means whether or not you spell it Stephanie, or Stefanie, or Stefany, or Stephany, etc. Her point being that you saying your full name out loud wouldn't help determine the spelling in this instance.

I could be wrong.

:: wink wink :: Take a look at my profile. (maybe tell me what's wrong with it)

How do I find you? Email, RL name? I'm new to OKC.

Fantastic! (I met The Girl on OutEverywhere. Don't tell anyone.)

Doesn't everyone meet everyone online these days?

how polite are them, and how much are they just trying to hide.

Being polite != hiding something any more than being rude = honesty.

It took me a lot of political phone banks and several Derek Strange novels to get that black people, ime, prefer Mr. or Mrs from strangers.

My friend Suz, who was teaching black kids in inner city DC, learned that dressing down as a teacher - trying to be more approachable from her perspective - was perceived as a slight. She didn't get it until one of the kids asked her why she didn't respect them. Why did she wear such casual clothes? Then she noticed that all the black teachers dressed much more formally (all the men wore ties and jackets), and she changed her wardrobe.

Doesn't everyone meet everyone online these days?

I'm so old-fashioned. I met The Boy in person, when he offered to tie me up.

I may not accomplish anything else of substance today, but I was successful in getting permission from the State of Michigan to stop using a housing form that had, I shit you not, the following box:

Applicant:
___ White/not-minority
___ Negro/Black
___ Oriental
___ American Indian
___ Spanish American
___ Other

Our contact at the state level had NO IDEA this form was still being used. It's a form that was originally issued in 1966, but was REVISED in 1986 (!!!), and still being passed out as of 1998. She said, "Yeah. You don't have to use that form anymore. Good heavens."

I'm so old-fashioned. I met The Boy in person, when he offered to tie me up.

Aww. How traditional!

Aims, that is truly wack.

Well, that didn't take long. I'm playing Buffy/Angel trivia with a woman on OKC. She got one of three on the first question (how many actors played in Buffy, Angel, and Firefly). Hope I didn't scare her, but she did say she doubted that I knew more than she did!

Beyond finding someone to date, it would be cool if I made some new lesbian friends. I have found that very difficult since quitting rugby.

I would love to have the confidence to correct people with 'Ms J.' when they use my first name and it's not appropriate. I'd particularly like to be called 'Ms' at my many medical appointments. The social inequality of discussing my health with soemone who I have to call 'Dr' and gets to call me 'Naomi' is annoying as hell.

When that happens, just smile and say "I prefer Ms. ____" . the smile is very key, and make it genuine. You have a right to be called what you want to be called. And if someone says "Do you mind if I call you [first name]", my response is "and what's your first name?"

With doctors, I make a point of learning their first names. I had a doctor walk in and say "[First name]?" and I replied "I'm Ms [last name]" He looked surprised for a second, but continued "I'm Dr. Smith". We had some small talk and he said "so, [first name] (random medical question) " and I replied "Well, Bob (answer to question)" He looked at me for a second, and said "Okay, Ms. [last name], now we're going to . . ."

Aims was right. I would say "Stephanie" as a reflex, to somehow get the spelling in my head, but of course that wouldn't help at all. So I am a doofus.

I have an easy first name and I am happy to have people use it. Both the DH and I enjoy watching check-out folks try to pronounce our last name, Fogelson (FOE-gl-sun). We mostly get something like "Thank you Mr. Fergoolsin," and neither of us can figure out where the "r" comes from.