I was just going to say, we don't bite...unless you ask. ammitch. ammith.

Congratulations, Seska, both on your confirmation and on the non-flammatory nature of the ceremony.

Gentle yays to Lucy-cat. And all good thoughts to the spotty pup and her folks.

Bev, are those short or long "a"s?

Man, I have one big monologue in this play, and there is one line that's a complicated complex sentence with polysyllabic words and it's killing me.

It's so hard to enunciate simple words! Apparently I can't say "heard a rumor" without slurring.

Double mms mean short a--as in as, at, am. Amych, for example, rhymes with PB&J sammich, and amyth is an abbreviated amethyst. Right?

::looks on with great bemusement::

P-C, first, I meant to say good for you on being strong during your phone convo with your mom. It's already so much different than it was even a year ago--at least from what you're reporting here. Whatever progress you've made, it's all on you, because you're doing all the work. Good onya.

About the dialog thing, what always helped me was reading it walking. Slow it down, take it a syllable at a time, each beat to a step. It sounds stupid while you're doing it, but it sort of imprints the consonants and the vowels in a way so you can recall and recite them. Like singers learning a song in a foreign language phonetically. Once you have the dialog down and can say it clearly, you can add emotion to it later.

Why do we bewilder you, Amych?

For fuck's sake. Why am I arguing with a racist, sexist, fuckneck douchebag on the internet? He thinks his racist "joke" is "satire."

UR DOIN IT RONG.

::looks on with great bemusement::

Well, it makes sense in my head. Which, yeah, scary.

Here's the "satire":

Walk Naked in America Day!

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked. He must commit suicide if he does.

So next Saturday at 4 PM EST, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.

Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, to demonstrate they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wives and to show support for all American women.

Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment.

The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity

God Bless America!

When confronted, the fuckneck stated (with apparently no sense of irony) that "it's SATIRE!"

I asked what exactly it was satirizing, and he started quoting a "Jane, you ignorant slut" routine from Saturday Night Live.

(This is someone in my wider social circle, and at some point I'm going to be in the same room with him and it's not going to pretty. [1] He's a racist fuckneck. [2] He's a sexist fuckneck. [3] Don't try to call your bigotry "satire"; that's the weakest of weak excuses. [4] You misunderstand the entire concept of satire, which just makes me sad that you're so unintelligent.)

I asked The Boy if this person was mentally ill, because this is not the first time he's pulled shit like this. And then I realized that was *very* unfair of me, because mental illness does NOT equal bigoted fuckneckness. Sometimes a bigot is just a bigot.