P-C, it may always be hard, but you've made a huge step in your own growth and in your relationships just by having these conversations.

I was going to say this. Being able to set boundaries is so important in all your relationships, including with whoever you marry, AND it's vitally important to be able to model/teach that to your kids (if you have kids).

So, even though you can't tell your mom this right now (maybe ever), the rough shit she's putting you through is going to end up being much more important for your potential future marriage than a locket is.

Still, it's exhausting bullshit, and I'm sorry it's dragging on. I'm glad, though, that from what you've said, your dad understands that you're standing your ground and is accepting of it. That's got to be some comfort to you.

WindSparrow - a new edition! Hurrah!

Why yes, I'm skipping. So GoYou! to P-C, and good luck to Hil, and... how's everybody?

Edit: I forgot I have news. I am now also a research asst.. Hence, busy beyond belief. But dear God, this year has to pay up, somehow and somewhere and something.

I am awake, I have showered, and I have a bit over an hour until my first interview. I am considering breakfast.

I'm also wondering if they assumed that PixDesigns were maybe staying at a hotel that night? That's not unheard of; I've friends who stayed in the wedding couples' place in that situation

I was in a wedding in October and stayed at the brides' house the entire time, BUT it was on their invitation. I was planning on getting a hotel room, but they wanted a hotel room so they could get away from things and offered their house to 3 of their frieds. We also helped with the brunch they had at their house the day after the wedding.

Hil, good luck today! I suggest a little something to eat. It would be awkward to have a loud tummy rumble during the interview.

So I'm having odd feelings about this new FB "Post this is your status" thing. It says this:

Please put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has autism. I hope people will understand that autism is not a disease;people with autism are not looking for a cure, but for ACCEPTANCE.

I have some very good friends (including people here) that have a kid or kids with some form of autism, or they themselves have autism.

My odd feelings are that in some of my friends with autistic kids, they *do* want a cure. Others, I don't know if they do or not, I haven't asked.

So, naturally when I can't make my own mind up about something, I ask you guys - obviously the meme is very general; there are people on both sides of cure wanted/no cure needed. But doesn't this meme read just a bit ... condescending, maybe? It makes me a wee bit oogy and I can't figure out why.

I don't know...kind of leaves me with the same ick as reading in the Pendergrass obit Gamble's last quote about TP being "out of pain" or what-have-you. On one hand, I know he's trying to be consoling, and, in some ways I can't argue with his thought, either. But somehow, part of me wants to. It's hard to explain.

OK, I am now dressed, hair done, and makeup on. (These big conferences are always fun because it's when we emerge from the math departments and try to make ourselves presentable, so we greet most of our friends with things like, "Hey, you own makeup!" or "Look! There's a face under that beard!" I've already gotten some variation on "Hey, you own makeup!" twice.)

I do know many parents of autistic kids who bristle at the word "cure" because autism isn't a disease, but a developmental delay disorder. So it's not like doctors are going to come up with the Autism Pill that suddenly makes all autistic kids neurotypical.

But yes, I think it's incredibly condescending to say "people in [group] want [thing]" as any kind of blanket statement*. It would be far less patronizing if the meme were "I am autistic/have an autistic child and I do not want a cure (post this as your status blah blah solidaritycakes)."

*within reason, obviously - you'd probably be pretty safe if you said "people in rural Africa want clean water to drink and bathe in"

I know a lot of autistic people who are against the 'cure' discourse. Equally, I have a friend with an autistic child who put that on her FB status. I don't have the right to say very much about it, not having personal experience of autism, but the person I admire most in the rights-before-cure field is the blogger Ettina, whose musings are at [link] . My autistic friend's blog, which sometimes crosses into that subject, is also very good: [link] .

ETA: I forgot to say - today's post from Crooked Timber, the sociology blog, is dealing with the 'cure' vs. rights issue in relation to a different condition.