Ah, geez. Major family meltdown. One thing that was good about living in a different state, when my familial shit hit the fan, I could remain somewhat distant from it. My nieces have been at each other's throats for a few years now, and they've both just declared, with much screaming and hurling of foul names, that they hate each other and never want to see each other ever again. They're not twelve; they're 22 and 26. My sister and I are at a loss; we don't even know where all this rancor came from. S. is adamant that she hates her sister and is done with her, and K. is saying hateful things I can't believe she'd ever say about her own sister. S. has always been the quietest, most accomodating, least confrontational person you ever met, and K. has always been abrasive and self-centered and prone to tantrums; we thought this was just another drama-fest, but it's clearly more serious; there has to have been something that set this off, and we don't know what, and we don't know what to do. It's to the point that I don't even want to talk to K. anymore; I can't listen to her call her little sister a whore. And S. won't talk anymore at all. (S. *may* be dating a guy who was married when they met, but S. denies it, and there is nothing but rumor about it anyway. K. herself spent almost a year swooning after a married guy with a new baby, and apparently cannot see that she did the same thing she's now accusing her sister of.) K. is being irrationally furious; I'd be scared she was doing drugs if I didn't know that she hates them. Apparently the bad feelings have been going on for a while, and S. seems to just be done with it; she quit talking about it before she even got around to talking to me. All this came out of the blue at me last night, and I don't handle this kind of thing well. I don't know what to do.

Don't do anything. Tell them you don't want to hear anything. They have a problem they can be grown ups - if they can't talk it out, they should not involve any other members of the family.

I might be a bit harsh, but you should not have to deal with stupid shit

Yeah, I would tell each of them when they start bringing the subject up that it is between them and it is something they need to settle between themselves. And be prepared to repeat it over and over until it sinks in.

Aims you're not weak or stupid or horrible and you can do this.

Zenkitty, what a nasty situation. I agree to try to say as uninvolved as possible.

Home. We both have milkshakes and I have a hamburger. I should have gotten 3. So hungry.

ION: Finally caved to friends' pressure and put up a profile on an online dating site. We shall see. It's a site "by geeks, for geeks". Will advise of further developments.

Zen, I agree with the wisdom that has come before me - do your damnedest to stay out of it. Not your fight. Unless you're longing to mediate, rise above (or duck, whichever works).

{{Aims}}

Skipped a bunch. ~ma to all who need it.

Today was not my greatest day. Just barely managed to fend off a panic attack.

Whoa! Today needs to BACK THE FUCK UP OFF MY BITCHES!

GC, I am good at putting my foot in people's asses (and not in a good way), so if you or DW needs any backup, please let me know. I also enjoy writing angry letters, so please feel free to make me happy by having me write one or several.

Aims, shit happens. One cigarette doesnt make you a bad person. Sometimes we backslide, but we have to keep moving forward. If you do it again, I'll spank you (wait, is that a punishment or a reward? ;)

Hil, good for you for fending it off. Deep breaths and calm thoughts your way, and we're here if you want to talk.

Zen, family can suck, but they're both adults. Tell them to grow the fuck up and leave you out of it. If they want to act like they're 2 and 6 instead of 22 and 26, then they can do it on their own time.

and Tino, if you do anything else today I WILL CUT YOU.

Zenkitty, that really sucks. I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

{{{Aims}}} I'm sorry you are having a rough time of it, too.

{{{sj}}} I'm glad you've got food, finally. And no, forgetting your wallet somewhere doesn't equal fail at adulthood. If it did, the clerks at the grocery store wouldn't be so smooth about setting a cart full of un-paid for, rung-up groceries aside so that a person can run all over town looking for their wallet then come back to get their purchase.

Today was not my greatest day. Just barely managed to fend off a panic attack.

Hil, you fended off a panic attack! I know the skin of the teeth by which you did it feels awfully thin, but.. you won!

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today. He's up in Friendship Heights. On the bus (about 40 minutes), there was a woman who absolutely reeked of alcohol holding a conversation with herself. Then she started telling everybody on the bus that god loves them. I apparently didn't react in the right way to this (I was, at the time, just trying to make it through the bus trip without panicking or crying), and she started shaking her finger in my face and telling me, "God bless you! Even if you don't hear it, God hears it!"

I told my psychiatrist that I've been really stressed out, and why. He told me that I've got to take control and make my advisor do the stuff he's supposed to do, and that I should get on top of things because time is running out for writing my dissertation. And that was when I started crying.

My plan for after the appointment was to take the Metro to Dupont Circle and try out the new vegan chicken burrito that they're test-marketing at that Chipotle, but I couldn't deal with either the metro or ordering in a place that requires that much explaining what I want, so I came home, and I think I had potato chips for dinner. Or, at any rate, I had potato chips. I also have some frozen burritos that I might microwave.