Well, I'm afraid aside from the "special friend" designation, my in-law issues have been fairly mild. They were disappointed when not only did Lewis not marry someone Jewish, but that I had no interest in converting. When confronted with the "but what will you do about the children?" question, I very mildly responded that all I wanted for my children was for them to grow up as decent, loving, respectful humans and that I simply couldn't see where religion had anything to do with that, since I'd seen too many people abuse others and behave indecently in the name of religion.

They thought I was wrong, but I think they respected the fact that I was firm in my convictions and that I wouldn't convert just for the sake of conformity. Added to that, the fact that my kids are sweet, decent people who adore their grandparents has added weight to my argument. They're hardly the rootless, aimless creatures they'd feared.

They've been upset about our impending move, so we've been getting a lot of parenting/parenting advice, but we're just breathing deep and moving along.

My heart hurts for anyone who can't acknowledge a basic core of their being or an important relationship-- I wish it could be as easy for everyone as it's been for me.

Seska, I'm sorry you're stuck in that situation.

Javachick, I agree with what JZ said. You are such a wonderful person, he should be bouncing with glee and doing everything he can to make you happy.

Javachik, love, may I suggest a mantra for us this year? We deserve to love and be lived by someone who truly appreciates us.

smonster is very wise.

Seska, you are not alone about the difficult in-laws at all. I try not to post about them here, but I would be happy to e-mail you sometime.

Seska, javachik, you're both wonderful people and deserve partners ready to shout your relationship from the rooftops--true of all the Bitches. Reality often differs, and I'm sorry for that. My inlaws held their own reservations about me, but they eventually came around. Took seven years, but that's another story.

Shane is a handsome little man--the pictures make my arms ache, just a little.

One of my biggest problems with S is that he's non communicative and quiet in general. So I end up starved for cues that he does love me; I don't ask for much. I was elated to get flowers sent to my office on our dateaversary, and thrilled to receive a Christmas card since I know how busy he is. So I thought now that he's employed and feeling better about things, we'd have a nice new years settling him in and at least getting past the abstract irt our future. If I say "are we going to get married?" the answer us always "sure". As it has been for two years. If I press for more than a generalization, he gets upset. And I love him and have sacrificed much in this relationship, as people do when they're serious. He relies on me, and from a distance, is very sweet and loving. But after three years I am impatient with the abstract future. My problem is that I am as reluctant to end our relationship as he is to move forward with it. So we are at an impasse and it affects everything else.

I am still on iPhone, sitting here in tears on a bench in the mall. I am sorry to read about The Girl's family and their biases and mentality; that is so angering. I imagine too it's quite clausterphobic and I am sorry, Seska.

Sending hugs via iPhone just is inadequate. I'm so sorry that things are so rough, javachik. I know you were looking forward to this visit.

Also, any stories about exceptionally difficult in-laws much appreciated, so I can be reminded I'm not alone with that one

My first MIL told my mother in all honesty and sincerity that she thought I was getting the better end of the marriage deal because her son was such a jewel. This the night before our wedding. She also sent him little notes with presents with comments like, "a son is a son til he takes a wife," etc. She was a piece of work. Of course her beloved son would never have called her or remembered her birthday if it wasn't for my reminders.

Gotta get my act together to go out to a holiday gathering. It wasn't planned, but I am visiting my sister and she had this planned already.

Oh, java. I wish I could give you a hug and buy you a cup of coffee. {{{}}}

I have a new suit. Even got new shirt, tie, and pocket silk. Spent a lot more than I wanted to. But only because I had no clue what suits go for. It will be nice to be dressy without the jacket button bulging. And it's for a good cause.

Dear Shir's Body:

We like you. A lot. But about this being sick thing: Knock it off. Seriously, just give it up. You have much better things to be doing with your time. Sadly, moving to the U.S. right away isn't one of them, but do bear that in mind when you have a spare year or two - after you quit being sick, that is.

Thanks awfully, Bitches

{{{{Seska}}}}

{{{{JavaChik}}}

Anything more I had to say has been overtaken by the SQUEEing I've been doing over Shane perfect, tiny hands. OMG, so perfect!

What? No baby blue tuxedo and ruffly shirt? I'm devastated.