I need to go out for an hour or so, but just that:

If what you meant by "suspicious" was that you have never gone through childbirth but it seems painful and not beautiful to you, but you're willing to talk to women who've given birth and then believe their accounts, then I did misunderstand you, because that's not what "suspicious" means to me, particularly in that context, and I apologize. I should have asked for clarification.

Yeah, pretty much. And I apologize for lack of wording to clarify that suspicious, to me, is also interesting and intriguing. And in anthropology and sociology, it's not "willing to talk with": that's the most basic part of the damn research, and if you're not doing it, it's a bad one.

Edit:

Having a baby, yes. Giving birth? No.

True; my bad wording.

Everyone else just watches.

Well, we also cringe, say dumb things ("Uh...breathe. Right? Breathe?"), think we're helpful, and acknowledge that, really, we're not helpful at all.

My feelings about whether or not I want to have children are so intensely personal, so wrapped up in a complex burrito (mmm...lunch) of my Issues, my past, my present, my relationship situation, my health, my financial situation, what I want from life, my Basically Everything That Is Me, that even I can't figure it all out, and I think I know myself pretty well. I'm not sure that any objective data on the matter would be helpful. I can't guarantee that if some of those variables changed tomorrow, that my feelings on having a kid wouldn't change. I reserve the right to be capricious.

Giving birth is an experience that is shared by a family; more than two people. And there are legal aspects to that as well: age of consent, who is to decide on what care should the mother and the baby will get if the mother is still under the influence of medical drugs. By your example, 9/11 happened just to the people who were killed/injured/had their loved ones killed or injured in that event.

No, just the opposite. While there are other people who are involved in the birth of a child, who are affected by it, who have opinions about it, who have intense feelings about it, it is ultimately a very personal, private decision between two people.

Similarly, while many, many people have intense feelings about 9/11, many of them very personal, because it was a tragic, personal event for many people, the issues surrounding the building of the Muslim cultural center are public issues.

Maybe it's the happy ending. By which I don't mean porn. Who has two thumbs and knows a million stupid "experts"? This girl. Although sometimes, among movement people I know, I'm concerned that leads to a major anti-intellectual bias.(Admittedly, because I'm vain as fuck about how smart I am...maybe I can have it called "Olbermann Syndrome" and classified as yet another secondary condition. Much more fun than the dyscalculia though.) And, honestly, as an editor, I fuckin' hate reading epicly misspelled, written on one line "outsider art" in the name of getting some wacko's "truth". If that makes me an elitist, sign me up. If you think I'm good enough, that is.

IOBabyNews, Dylan's been giving all of his toys baby brothers lately even though we (a) don't know the sex yet and (b) haven't said a word to him about there even being a new baby. (We're waiting until the anatomy sono, which is this afternoon.) I wonder if he knows something's up.

He's a smart cookie, that's what.

IOBabyNews, Dylan's been giving all of his toys baby brothers lately even though we (a) don't know the sex yet and (b) haven't said a word to him about there even being a new baby. (We're waiting until the anatomy sono, which is this afternoon.) I wonder if he knows something's up.

That's adorable. Hopefully he won't be too disappointed if you find out you're having a girl. Best wishes with the appointment.

I'm finally getting myself fitted for new leg braces tomorrow. I've been putting it off for two long, and my legs have been so swollen lately that the current ones are painful to wear.

Hopefully he won't be too disappointed if you find out you're having a girl.

Gender isn't his strong suit - I doubt he'd fully understand the difference. (Today he told me I didn't like to chew gum because I'm a woman, after a conversation with DH in which the intended distinction was kid vs grown-up but got a little lost in translation.)

Hopefully he won't be too disappointed that you aren't having a grown-up.

First, congrats, Jessica! - I think I missed your announcement while being away on test season.

And second, I'm back, and now I'm in a dilemma. While clearly there's a disagreement going on here, I'm OK with leave it at that. I recognize that the root of the problem is in my wording, and I think that if I write a new post with my full view of the subject(s), it might be clearer (not necessarily more convincing - but more clear). But since we've reached a certain... pause? Equilibrium? (well, I know I'm in minority here, just can't find a better word), I don't know if it's worth to reopen the subject with more opinions, since I see it's a touchy issue. And it's OK.

But if anyone's still upset and/or hurt by my recent posts, I'd like to have the chance of explaining myself (not even here - emails are OK, too) and my views.

Signed,
Not a baby/mother hater, really