Cereal:

I suppose I do have to thank the freak-ass church for at least getting me to read/study the bible. Because, man, all the Catholic stuff that just appalls me? Nowhere in there. Jesus was basically all, "Love your neighbor. Don't fuck shit up. Any questions?"

Not a single thing on going to mass every Sunday, much less on telling detailed accounts of every time you whack off to some celibate dude. (Man, that is unsavory.)

I thought confession was a private thing now that didn't require telling your list of sins to a priest.

From what I read last night, confession is still a tell-all-your-lurid-secrets dealio.

I was also under the impression that there were exceptions for the mass attendance for sick, elderly, grieving, whatever.

Right, and I should have said that. If you're very ill, or the weather would make it dangerous for you to attempt to go, or if you're an hour or more away from a church, or -- my favorite -- if you're a mother who has given birth within the previous 6 weeks, then it is not a sin to skip mass.

(However, if you gave birth 7 weeks ago and don't make it, YOU WILL BURN.)

If I get them put on, I can wear one of those clear-strap bras and have a much more comfy night (and shoulder the next day).

This trumps silly. Wearing a strapless bra all evening is something I shudder to contemplate.

Man, my Grandma blew off a LOT of church having those eight kids.

Now I'm picturing Trudy's grandma having kid after kid just to get out of going to confession.

if you're a mother who has given birth within the previous 6 weeks, then it is not a sin to skip mass.

huh. We have a "tradition" in the family that the baby shouldn't leave the house for six weeks. I wonder if that's where it came from.

Now I'm picturing Trudy's grandma having kid after kid just to get out of going to confession.

It does make one wonder...

Actually, half of them are born in June which always makes me wonder if my Grandparents were having nooners as soon as the kids went back to school.

I've lived a distressingly pure life, not really by design, and yet, the way I understand it, since thoughts count, if I'm being honest, I would have crazy-long confessions. "Father, today my brother took the last lemon for my water and I wished harm upon his person." Then I go to a lot of internet communities founded to house covetous and lustful thoughts(BITCHES: Shoutout!) Sometimes about public officials(RahmBamarama) or newscasters(ko_daily, RPF) Cursing alone could take up a lot of confession time.

Congrats, Gris! Have a wonderful honeymoon and enjoy your time in Napa!