IOcuteN [link] shows that parenting really isn't for everyone. Also, as in other matters, location is everything.

Thanks for the ~ma. I have a photo shoot for this tomorrow, so we'll see. My money's on cyst also, because otherwise I'd be the only person I know who GAINS weight from a malignancy.

Sox, yuck. Because you totally need that kind of disruption right now.

And if you’re not absolutely positively sure that kids are something you want, you maybe shouldn’t have them?

ITA. I am so glad we didn't have a kid until we wanted one. Sure, we're comparatively old for parents, but a) I did not have my shit together earlier and would've sucked as a mother; b) we got to have lives and do stuff; and c) I just didn't want kids.

As for more than one? I think it's the same as having one in the first place. You either feel like it's right for you or not right for you.

If memory serves, there's only meant to be fireworks for one of the nights.

Eid fireworks seem to last for as long as people can find fireworks to set of.

P-C, much coping~ma to you and your bro. And his GF. I'd wish coping to your parents and sister also, but I suspect they don't want to cope with it.

How completely annoying and frustrating, Sox. Grrrrr

Quick news of it's nothing ~ma for Raq.

Since I was a teen I could never have imagined where I would be 5 years in the future. At this point in my mid 50s I completely accept that no amount of planning or imagining will give me any idea or control over where I will be at 60. I can hope and plan, but life is always filled with twists and turns and things I didn't anticipate. It is fortunate that my Piscean nature makes it easy for me to go with the flow.

Every one of the Buffistas on the lonely hearts bench would be a spectacular mate. If only some of my loved ones made much good choices! You all know I have always been in a LTR. I never planned, expected, or anticipated any of them. I would have bet you anything when I was widowed at 33 that I would never fall in love again. Just had the 20th anniversary of the wedding that I swore would never happen.

Polter! Good on you holding your brother's secret. ~ma for him withstanding the fallout. Hope it doesn't get too ugly.

In the sense of "you have time for self-improvement," yes. But if you're interested in a relationship, it's a way to meet people with whom you have at least something in common. Couples have met in crazier places than pottery class.

I have a very hard time making friends, and don't really have any local ones. I need to listen to this good advice and go out and meet people. I'm going to join a book group or something when I move. Of my semi-local friends, I met them all online, but I've lost track of where are good places to meet people online anymore. I have an enormous twitter follow list of people who mostly live in very far-off places.

this? I would snap like a twig.

I might do, although I'm a heavy sleeper - as long as I can *get* to sleep. I have a much harder time dealing with noise in the day. When I was really ill and basically housebound a few years ago, a neighbour rebuilt their garden for four months. I was a wreck.

screw earplugs, go on holiday. visit some friends or relatives who don't live near construction for a week. or a fortnight, just in case it takes longer than planned.

Nothing~ma to amyth's brother and Raq.

I'm leading a lonely life these days, except for the invisible people. I fear I have a permanent seat on the lonely hearts bench, and I need to find ways to get out more. The state of mind I'm in makes it much easier to be a hermit, though.

We've got nightly freeway construction about a half mile from our house--there are houses a whole lot closer--but our bedroom is on the opposite of the house. When you're in the bathroom you can sometimes hear noises. It's the metallic screeching, straining noises that are occasionally worrying.

At 49, any questions now are about potential grand-children, but for a while strangers felt entitled to ask about potential children. Heck, Utah, kids are practically currency. I sometimes worry about being 70 and alone, but having children would have been worse.

I laugh at the youngsters around me with their great plans of getting a job with so-and-so, and their wife will get a part time job when the kids go to school, and they'll retire at 35 because real estate will make a come-back, etc. One guy I dislike was going on about this, and I asked what he was going to do if one of his kids turned out to be sick or if he was in a car wreck and couldn't work and his wife had to go find a full-time job? He said, "That won't happen," in the tone of voice that says he knows God is looking out for him 'cause he's special. An over-hearing co-worker laughed bitterly.

One guy I dislike was going on about this, and I asked what he was going to do if one of his kids turned out to be sick or if he was in a car wreck and couldn't work and his wife had to go find a full-time job? He said, "That won't happen," in the tone of voice that says he knows God is looking out for him 'cause he's special.

I hate to wish ill on someone I don't know, but... it's hard not to in this case.

One of the nice things about the flying club (yes, flying club likes carrots) is that I'm meeting a ton of people who I would normally never run into. There's nothing romantic coming out of it so far, but at least I'm making new connections. Eh, maybe one of them has a brother or cousin who'd like to meet a weird, middle-aged, lefty-liberal, fat chick with a bazillion books and a single engine prop. plane obsession. Stranger things have happened.

Yeah, if you could show my current life to me five years ago, ten years ago, and fifteen years ago I'd be completely flabbergasted in every instance.

Life can change quickly and unexpectedly.

I am a new father of twin boys, and I am in my 50's. For most of my life I've been a typical bachelor scientist. I worked very long hours at a very interesting job and I traveled a lot a bit meeting with other long-hours interesting-job people. I liked the lifestyle enough that I hardly noticed the family thing slipping away.

A couple of years ago my long-distance girlfriend was offered a job at my university. She took the job. We eloped. We talked about kids. After about a year we found out that she was pregnant with identical twin boys, which is pretty cute because we both do research with twins and we met at a twin research conference ten years ago. I'm astounded at how well everything turned out, but if you had told me at age 50 that I would soon be the father in a classic nuclear family with two kids I would not have believed it.

Now we just have to figure out how each of us can spend 80 hours a week on our jobs and 80 more caring for out infant boys. So far the remaining 8 hours a week for sleep does not seem to be enough.