On behalf of unexpected second children born with perfect well-behaved siblings everywhere, I would like to say, "Hey!"

I second that "Hey!"

My parents have said that as babies, my sister (middle child) was "loudly stubborn." I (youngest of three) was "quietly stubborn." We were equally a handful, but I just didn't make as much noise. My subversion was much more stealthy. That pattern has persisted all of our lives--sis is very outgoing and you always know what she's thinking. I tend to retreat into a hole and not come out when I'm depressed/sulking/mad. Turns out, I'm more difficult to handle in the end.

Oh, and I found a store near me that sells used furniture, and it's run by a rehabilitation program for prisoners -- prisoners at a nearby prison take a class in conflict resolution and interpersonal skills, and then they staff this store and connect with the community, instead of spending their prison time totally separated from everybody else. I bought a rocking chair for my front porch. The chair desperately needs a new coat of paint, but so does the porch, so I guess it matches. Maybe I'll buy some paint and make the chair pretty some weekend when I'm bored.

I don't think that more siblings mean more people to take care of aging parents is anything to count on.

Yeah. In several generations of my family it was more like, "You're female? No kids of your own? Congratulations—here, have an elder-care situation of your very own. Long distance bills for siblings who want to be kept up to date, not as optional as you might like."

Oh shit.

So. For years, my brother has had a secret Caucasian she-devil girlfriend. I have kept this a secret EVEN FROM YOU GUYS. I finally met her last year on my trip to Dallas, and they're basically living together at this point.

Today, my sister and mom paid him a surprise visit to bring him food. They didn't even call when they were in the area; otherwise, he would have said he wasn't home. He didn't even answer the door when he saw them through the peephole, but my sister noticed the movement, so he had to open it.

My mom went to the bathroom, and she opened the closet because she's nosy, and she found a bunch of women's clothing. His girlfriend jokes that he should have told her he was a cross-dresser, but that doesn't occur to you after you've been found out after years of trying not to be. He even told her her name, so he can't even pretend she's Indian.

They left, and my mom called my dad. My grandparents are in town, and they don't want them to know. It's all a big, unholy mess, and we knew it would probably happen eventually, but you're never really prepared.

Please send ~ma my brother's way. He's going to need it. I could use some too. I'm shaking over here, on his behalf. My brother joked that they're pretty much never going to believe any of us ever again.

Oh dear. I hope things go as smoothly as they possibly can.

Man, does he need to drag you down with him? I mean I know you 2 are close, but it's not like it'll be easier on him if you're outed as a co-conspirator.

Yikes, P-C! Your poor brother, and I am evil for thinking that they may leave you alone for a while.

(His latest development: we were at dinner with a friend, who lent him her mobile phone. After playing with the buttons and turning on the lights, he put it up to his ear - upside down - and started merrily burbling away. Lovely Boo.)

::melts::

PC - good luck and ~ma to your brother. And to his girlfriend, who sounds pretty darn cool.

I have two recommenders out of three - yay! BITE ME person who made me feel awful yesterday. Now to work on the third.

OMG, you didn't tell us that your bother had a secret shedevil girlfriend!!! He was LIVING with her and keeping her secret?!? That's crazy.