I was an accident but I think my folks are pretty pleased they had a second child. And a third. Although they may not have said that during my little brother's high school years.

I know it was really hard for my dad being an only child when his parents' health began to fail and he was their sole caretaker and 1/2 a continent away. It was a lot of pressure for him.

But I also have a number of only children friends who are great people!

Personally, if I'm able to have a child it would probably be an only due to my age. There's just no time.

So, in conclusion, GC, I have no useful advice but a lot of sympathy for you guys having to make a hard decision!

Poking my head to say hi and respond re: child #2 - we had each of our children for the same reason - we wanted them. We felt the family wasn't complete, yet. And being the wacky religious people we are, we trust that G-d will provide them, and He always has.

I had my first two in relatively quick succession (17 mos apart) ... then every two years for a couple more... then a long pause... then two more three years apart. Worked full-time (or 3/4 time) all the way down the line.

There are long swathes of time when most of the kids were little that I just don't remember. At all. Just years of constant fatigue and gratitude for a husband who is a true partner, child care providers who were true friends, and a boss who has been willing to let me work it all out with some flexibility. I know exactly how lucky/blessed I am.

Now that they're older (three out of high school, one in high school, two in elementary school) there's more room to breathe, sort of - the emotional work outweighs the physical work now, but the total load is about the same. (Developmentally, teens are basically just toddlers with bigger feet. They take work!)

Each is completely different, each is their own adventure, each is crazy-making. Wouldn't trade them for anything (although are there days I'd gladly give one or two away for free.)

It is a totally personal, private, intense decision, Glamcookie. I wish you well in working through the decision and wherever that decision takes you.

Uh, Aims? Heads up.

We've also been talking about whether to have another baby. It doesn't look likely, the main reasons being:

Not getting any younger

I'm over 40, and (more importantly) Wallybee's approaching it too. Risk factors increase with age.

My younger sibling is a non-neurotypical nutcase, and we got it right with the first one, so why risk a second?

Yeah. Flip the order for me, but there are some suspect outcomes of my genetic heritage. My younger brother's position on kids has always been that he's not willing to take the risk that they'd turn out like him (though now he's engaged, I think he's softened his stance).

Not a parent, but I can tell you my parents' reason! I was a well-behaved baby. Almost unnaturally so. My parents were pretty certain they'd get a demonbaby the next time out, so decided that my being an only child would be FINE.

Yeah. With Ryan, it feels like we won the baby lottery. We couldn't wish for a sweeter little person. (His latest development: we were at dinner with a friend, who lent him her mobile phone. After playing with the buttons and turning on the lights, he put it up to his ear - upside down - and started merrily burbling away. Lovely Boo.)

I love kids, always have. If we were younger, I'd want another. But I'm happy with the way things have turned out.

Not a parent, but I can tell you my parents' reason! I was a well-behaved baby. Almost unnaturally so. My parents were pretty certain they'd get a demonbaby the next time out, so decided that my being an only child would be FINE.

Not a parent either, but I have observed this phenomenon more than once.

I went exploring a bit in my new town, in search of dinner. There's a tavern that has a portobella sandwich, but I wanted something to bring home, not to eat out. There's a cool little coffee shop that has a hummus sandwich on the menu, but they were out of hummus. While I was walking, a random guy in a Jesus shirt offered to pray for me. There's an antique store down the block from me that has a shelf of books that I really want a closer look at, but the store is never open when I pass by. There's also a deli down the block from me, but it looked like they're only open for breakfast and lunch. So, I ended up with a sandwich from Subway.

but I have observed this phenomenon more than once.

I'm here to tell you this happens. I have living proof.

Not a parent, but I can tell you my parents' reason! I was a well-behaved baby. Almost unnaturally so. My parents were pretty certain they'd get a demonbaby the next time out, so decided that my being an only child would be FINE.

On the other hand, my brother and sister in law say that if their first or first two babies had been as good as their third they would have tried to have many, many more babies.

That reminds me of the great Cosby routine about the birth of his first child. He and his wife were delighted, because she was perfect: "Ding! My name is Erika, and I love you both. Mommy, what time would you like to get up in the morning?" "Um, 7:00?" "Well, I will not wake up until 9, and even if my diaper is wet, I will not even cry. I'll just lay there, saying, 'Leeleelilo, lilolilo.' My name is Erika, and I love you both. Ding!"

He then says that they decide to have another one right away, before they lose whatever they have going for them. Sure enough, Daughter #2 arrives, or as they came to call her, Beelzebub. Champagne in one hand, cigarette in the other, saying "Who's in charge here? You, the ugly guy, why are you here?" "I'm your dad." "Get rid of him, Momsy...What time ya been getting up in the morning?" "Um, 7:00." "Would you believe--3:30. And this is how I cry. WAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

The nephews' parents want to know why they got the easy one in their late 20s when they had all the energy and the difficult one in their late 30's when they were too tired for him.